28-12-2006, 11:29 AM
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#1 (permalink)
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Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Emsworth, full of the EU's Polish imports!
Posts: 209
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Kim Jong Il, golfing superstar?
Quote:
Move over Tiger Woods, North Korea's dumpy Dear Leader has your number!
Guffaws were heard around the world last month when it was reported that North Korea's Dear Leader Kim Jong Il had scored 11 holes-in-one in a single round of golf.
But Weekly Playboy (1/1-8), which calls the dumpy dictator a sporting superstar, reports the feat was even more remarkable because the Pyongyang Golf Club where the feat is supposed to have occurred only has a few short holes reachable with a single hit.
"He's incredible! Normally, 11 aces would be unthinkable. Normally, there are only four short holes on any course, so more than five holes-in-one is physically impossible. Nobody in the world has done something like this. I guess the Dear Leader has hit a ball that has been computer-controlled to fly into the holes. If he really has done it, he can buy me a drink. But I can't believe that beer-bellied old man could possibly do it," Kazuya Maruyama, a 60-something lawyer and fitness freak, tells Weekly Playboy. "Golf balls don't fly through the air like that. Besides, North Korea can't get its Taepodong missile guidance system right, so I don't think they'd be able to do something like that."
Nonetheless, there are other Japanese who say Kim's spectacular sporting feats could be real -- at least as far as the average North Korean is concerned.
"Legend has it that Kim Jong Il's first toy was a replica revolver and he became a sharpshooter by practicing his shooting skills by pretending he was aiming at Japanese," Yamanashi University Prof. Toshio Miyatsuka tells Weekly Playboy, which adds that it would not be surprised if Kim was also regarded as a slam-dunking hoops champ (albeit in elevator shoes) or capable of running 100 meters backwards in under 8 seconds.
"It's really not a joke," Miyatsuka warns. "All this is possible in North Korea. In that country, there's nothing that guy can't do. He's like a god, so no matter how mythical some feat may be, if the powers that be say Kim did it, then he did it. Of course, that's only in North Korea."
Miyatsuka points out that North Koreans are taught some fairly amazing stories about the Dear Leader.
"Their school textbooks say that one day the child Kim noticed a world globe where Japan and North Korea were both colored red. He was infuriated that his country was the same color as the loathed Japan, so painted Japan in black. At exactly the same time, Japan was suddenly struck by snow and heavy rains. Another story of his youth tells of Kim doing a jigsaw puzzle of a map and earthquakes occurring in the exact places of the pieces he moved," the North Korea expert says. "North Korean children are taught that the Dear Leader has such divine powers."
Others beg to disagree and say the hole-in-one report was simply issued to discredit Kim. Kenji Fujimoto, who served as Kim's exclusive sushi chef for over a decade, is one of the doubters.
"I think it's all made up. I certainly don't think this is news that has come out of Pyongyang. NTV monitors Pyongyang Broadcasting 24 hours a day and nobody at NTV noticed any news like this. This was probably France's AFP or somebody who deliberately made it look as though this was a leaked story as some kind of a joke. Not even a little kid would fall for somebody shooting 11 aces in a single round," Fujimoto tells Weekly Playboy.
Academic Miyatsuka agrees.
"Pyongyang Golf Course, which I've only seen from aerial photos, looks like it only has three short holes. If there are only three holes short enough for a single shot, how could anyone possibly hit 11? The sums don't work out," the North Korea expert says to Weekly Playboy. "This is a complete fabrication." (By Ryann Connell)
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Step aside Tiger Woods! |
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