HIMEKA in JAPAN

Been busy and not busy at the same time.

Bad news : I don’t really have a job anymore. I’m not fired, but I will only be called occasionally for replacement. So I’m looking for a new job now. But I’m very grateful for being able to survive these past 4 months at this place. Thank you.

So I have to find a job quickly otherwise next month, I’m really living in a tent… Unless I find some sort of solution. Please keep me in your prayers.

Bad : The other day, I lost my wallet. I even went to the police station to write a report. I thought I’d have to get all my card remade…

Good : It was found. Thank you, Yuki.

Bad : The shower’s hot water didn’t work that day…. again (it happens once a month. cold showers. yay.)

Bad/Good : I suddenly got crazy spam mail on my cell the other day. For about 2 days in a row. For a total of approximately 200. I’m not kidding. I was going to change my address, but for some reason, it stopped today.

Bad : I made time to go see someone’s event tonight. Yet, even though I properly looked up the address/map on google and market it down, I never found the place. I walked for about an hour and even asked around and still couldn’t find it and gave up.

Good : It made me do some walking/exercise.

Bad/Good : I had a cold for a week. I was worried it would drag on, but it’s gone now. I couldn’t practice my singing in the meantime, so now I have to catch up!!

Good : I went to karaoke for practice this afternoon. 3 hours. I was so rusty. Even just one week without practicing and it seems like I have to start all over again. What an amateur. >_<

Bad : My digital camera is still not fixed yet. T_T

Bad : A japanese friend of mine (that I met back in Montreal) who lives in Kobe was thinking of coming to watch me perform at the event, but I just learned that I have to go back to Tokyo right after. T_T I really wanted to see her. I didn’t see her in a long time! Next time, hopefully…. ;_;

I’m leaving for Osaka once again, tomorrow afternoon.
Since I took 3 extra hours to go out for the event that I never found the place of, I delayed my packing up, laundry, ironing, etc. But I still managed to do a lot of things.

I decided I won’t bring my computer this time. My suitcase is always so heavy to carry around. Plus, taking a little break from it might do me some good. Honestly.

Thank you everyone, for the constant encouragements.
I’m sorry I’m not very responsive…. I really need to go to bed….but I just wanted to say thank you. I’ll keep doing my best and try to improve as a singer, but also as a human being. Please be patient with me!! <3

みんなのコメントについて、本当に感謝しています。
返事しなくてごめんなさい。でも全部読みますから、安心して下さい。：）
とても嬉しくて、これからも頑張ります！！
デビューはまだですけど、とりあえず日本語の独学とか色々なことにも頑張ります～
みんなの応援のお陰で、どんどん強くなって、勇気をありがとうございます！！
じゃあ、明日は大阪に行きます。今回、パソコンを持って来ないと思います。。。。だってさ、荷物は多くて、凄く重いですYO!!　(笑）

わざわざでこのブログに来てくれて、ありがとう、本当に感動しました。　：）　嬉しいです。

Bonne nuit.

-HIMEKA

We’re done with the event!!
Even though I was feeling nervous as always, it was another great experience.
I’m grateful.
Everytime before the event, I always feel down but…in the end, I get happier when I’m done.

We’re having a gathering tonight and we’ll watch the finals of the contest together.
It looks like it’s airing at 9pm on the animax channel.
I’ve been worried about this day since a while back…but even more since I saw parts of the show from the copy I got… Of course I think hearing myself raw from the sound system didn’t make me happy. I think I sounded very bad….and I looked stupid and sounded stupid when I talked but… there’s nothing I can do about it. So I’ll do my best to bear with it.

I have to do my best to improve on a lot of different things from now on, even if I don’t really know *how* I’m going to do it.

Anyway, I’m sleeping in Fukuoka again tonight and returning to Tokyo tomorrow.
So I’ll either update tonight after the gathering, or tomorrow when I return from Tokyo. Hopefully I won’t be too lazy to do it!!

*hugs to everyone*

-HIMEKA

It’s already 1:30am.
I’m flying to Fukuoka tomorrow (now today?) for another event on the 16th.
I still haven’t packed anything yet, so I have to get up early to do that.
My throat still hasn’t recovered. I went to practice singing after work today, but it really didn’t sound good. I just hope this doesn’t evolve into a bad cold though. I cross my fingers that it will only die out as this throat ache.

My camera is still at the shop waiting to get fixed, so I’m a bit disappointed I won’t have it with me to take pictures….Oh well! My cell phone is better than nothing! It can still take pictures.

I wish I was feeling emotionally better.
It’s like I can’t see anything ahead of me.
I wasn’t capable of doing my pre-event diet either…
I just easily give in to eating chocolate and other bad things…
*sigh*

I feel so worthless sometimes…

-HIMEKA

P.S.: I’m tired of smelling my roommates’ repeated farting. Honestly.

I got a coat today. It was a priority if I don’t want to die this winter.

But today was actually very warm. It felt like a day of september.

It seems like Yuki was heading towards the mall too, so we ended up meeting in the mid-afternoon.
Then it was Nano’s live performance. It’s been a while since I saw her perform. She did awesome. My ears were happy. I wanted to take a picture, but my camera is still at Yodobashi (an electronic store) where I left it for repair. My cell………..I always tried to figure out how to make a focus…but I never found how. >_< When I got home, I just HAD to figure it out for next time. And I did. But wow…it’s so complicated. Geez. But I did it!! *coughs* anyway. So yeah… She performed 4 songs to open the show (several bands were gonna perform tonight). Including her most recent one. Nano and her guitar make a great team.

Yuki performed at an open mic last week and I went with her to watch. I wanted to make a video but that’s when I broke my camera….lol. Such bad timing. I think even though she can sing pretty loud, I prefer when she sings softly. It’s a good feeling.

Lisa surprisingly sent me an mp3 recording of a cover song. I just listened to it now as I got home. I haven’t replied to her yet. But wow. She’s working at improving at singing loudly. o_o I was really surprised. I *knew* she’s been hiding power somewhere inside, she just wasn’t aware of it. I hope from now on, she’ll keep aiming towards new goals like that. Go Lisa!!! I’m proud of you!

Oh yeah… Saku posted a new song too the other day. I didn’t say anything to her, but I really think she has the type of singing that fits those really pop-ish songs. I think she has a lot of ability there.

Ah. Why am I talking about people’s singing tonight?
Hehe.

I have the beginning of a cold. Since 3 days ago. At this point it’s just a throat ache, so I hope it will just go away and not evolve. I’m doing my best to rest and drink a lot of orange juice??!

I recently decided to watch Utawarerumono.
And I just finished the other night.
Waaaah.
The story is very centered around war, so if you think you can bear seeing a few cut arms and arrows piercing people…lol…
No, seriously. It’s pretty violent but…
The story behind the characters is interesting.
I guess it’s one of those series where you get really attached to the characters as they evolve and get closer together.
And well, I already knew this, but they play Suara’s song ‘Kimi ga tame’ around the end of the last episode.
I loved that song so much, but now I love it even more. T_T

A little while back, I watched Kino no Tabi too. Another series that left me really ‘…waaaah. I want more episodes’ sort of feeling. It’s the kind of story that makes you ponder about a lot of things.
And how foolish people can be sometimes. It was so interesting.

Thank you for the support, as always.
I’m sorry if I’m too whiny.

-HIMEKA

I slept.
I calmed down a little.
So I’m erasing the previous post.

I already knew from way before that as a foreigner who wants to sing in Japan, I would get a lot of people either making fun of me or insulting me so… I can’t go back.

From my wordpress dashboard, I can see the incoming links people clicked on to get to my blog.
I guess some people have nothing better to do than search for trouble and make fun of others.
I’ll never understand that.

It’s indeed easy to sit at the computer and type insults to people.

I’m someone who’s had a lot of emotional difficulties in life.
And even though I’m far from being what I wish I could be, I’m proud enough that I was able to get up and do something about it. I’ve been insulted and laughed at plenty when I was younger and even though I should be immuned to it, I’m not. I’m a human being.

All I can say is… I’ll do my best to ignore it as much as possible from now on.
I can’t control all the frustrated people out there who need to insult others to feel better.

Thank you, namnam, Nicole and Kathleen for your comments.
I’m sorry the previous post went away and so did your comments.
I appreciate the support.

It’s a fact though. I saw the dvd for the contest.
I don’t think I can call my singing there great.
No matter how ashamed I am about my appearance, japanese level and personality…
If at least I had sang well enough to be proud of it…. but no.
When you sing in a big live hall, the sound comes from the speakers everywhere and echoes a bit.
The music is loud enough that the singing gets a bit dampened by it.
So I think being there at the event makes you seem like you sound better.
But for the TV program, they took the sound directly from the sound system, which is pretty much raw.
So obviously, you hear the REAL thing.
But I was shocked because I really didn’t think I did so bad.
To be honest, I think my karaoke video on youtube sounds better than the tv program of me at the contest.
So…..whoever you are. If you’re not too picky and end up finding the show and watch it….then that’s one thing… but I already know a lot of people will be disappointed. I just hope I don’t have friends who end up trying to defend me saying ’she sounds much better than this video! she must have been nervous!’. I don’t want to see that kind of comment. I already know that this isn’t my best.
And I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able not to feel nervous on a stage someday. I’m more nervous than the average even just in everyday life.

So I’m going to keep singing for the people who have interest in it.
And for myself.
The haters I have/will have won’t change the cd sales rate in any way, so I guess it’s pointless for me to pay attention to them at this point…

I don’t like posing for pictures.
I don’t like interviews nor public speech.
I don’t like to be in videos.
But I want to sing.
And for the sake of singing, I will do my best to bear with showing my face and do what is required to be part of the music world. I don’t have much of a choice.

Thank you to all the people who have been supportive up till now.
That’s all I want to say for now.

-HIMEKA

I’m sorry for the lack of update, everyone!
I know it’s kinda late, but I wanted to say thank you for your concerns.
I’m okay with money after all. Things got fixed before I get my pay from my job at the restaurant, so I’m fine. Thank you.

I unfortunately broke my digital camera. I am trying to find a place to get it fixed. I’m not sure if it can be fixed though…If it’s not possible to fix it, I will have to live without it for now. My next priority of purchase is a winter coat. I have one from Canada but it’s really short and not warm, and I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to catch a cold because I’m not dressing properly. I saw one that I liked today, I might return to buy it tomorrow since I’m getting my pay. At least my cell can take pictures, even if it’s not good quality ones, it’s better than nothing. But I can’t take any videos unless I have a camera that can take videos, obviously…. so I’m sorry if it might take a while until I put something new up (on youtube). Sorry!!

Other than that, I got myself a nice 2009 calendar and agenda. I tend to write things here and there and I should try to be slightly more orderly. ^^; The store I saw had so many cute calendars, it was so hard for me to pick… I don’t remember seeing such lovely things when I was in Canada.

Christmas is drawing closer!! Then again it’s just an other ordinary day for me. But I love the lights. The surroundings of Shinjuku station is so full of pretty lights!!!

In front of Harajuku at ‘la foret’, they also put up a huge christmas decorated tree.

I’m sure a lot of places are getting cold lately, so make sure to stay warm!!

-HIMEKA