Removing the "O" from "Beautiful Country" gives the prime minister's plan an
entirely different meaning and, as the men's weekly does, performing a similar
twist of the tongue in Japanese by adding an "n" transforms the original name
of the scheme from utsukushii kuni to utsukushii kunni - or "Beautiful
Cunnilingus."
It's an important alteration, the weekly argues, because love hotels across the
country are reporting that men in their 20s are refusing to go down to places
where their mouthed ministrations would be most appreciated, and using only the
lamest of excuses for their boorish behavior.
"It's not like it's the most visually appealing area, is it?" one refusenik
tells Weekly Playboy.
When it comes to explaining why they dislike oral sex, it's plain to see from
another man that neither cat nor pussy have got his tongue.
"All the hair gets caught between your teeth," the 27-year-old illustrator
tells Weekly Playboy. "And I don't do anything down there with my fingers,
either, because they end up smelling."
Weekly Playboy says that young men who refuse to orally pleasure women can be
divided into the traumatized (who are frightened by the sight of female
genitalia), the neglectful (who aren't even aware of the practice of
cunnilingus), and the rawboned -- who simply dislike anything uncooked,
including sashimi.
Luminaries from Japan's netherworld, however, say regardless of whatever type
of guy they are, it's every young man's duty to stop giving lip and get to
work, lickety split.
"If Japanese men are refusing to get between women's legs and lick, it'll be
the end of Japan," Goro Tameiki, renowned adult movie auteur, tells Weekly
Playboy.
Fubuki Takazawa, an author of erotic novels, also sticks her tongue out at
those who refuse to lap up the labia.
"Women have no obligation to perform fellatio on any man who refuses
cunnilingus," she says. "I'd say about the only men who've never made a woman
orgasm are the ones who think they'll make them climax just by sticking their
thing in."
Surprisingly, Dr. Yamanaka of the Toranomon Hibiya Clinic, says there may be a
scientific explanation behind why young Japanese men today have developed a
phobia toward dining at the wire.
"Because of all the preservatives in food, people today can consume enormous
quantities of organic phosphorus. Once a certain amount of organic phosphorus
builds up in the body, it attaches itself to calcium and is expelled through
waste products. But what this means is that a large build-up of organic
phosphorus leads directly to a calcium deficiency," Yamanaka tells Weekly
Playboy. "Then you've got the human nervous system, which is made up of
sympathetic nerves and parasympathetic nerves. Parasympathetic nerves feed only
on calcium. When the body doesn't have enough calcium, the parasympathetic
nerves don't work as well as they should.
That sends the balance between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nerves all
skew-whiff. When the sympathetic nerves work stronger than the parasympathetic
nerves, it becomes easier to get nervous and aroused. 'Rage' attacks have been
discussed pretty frequently in recent years and they're probably triggered by
this mechanism. If there is a decreased sexual desire or erection problems, it
probably means the parasympathetic nerves aren't working as well as they should
be."
Copyright 1999-2007, Mainchi Daily. Used with permission. All rights
reserved. Ryann Connell is a Staff Writer and Senior Desk Editor for the
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