Orient Expat

[Bluecat]

Marriages in the mire as housewives frolic further afield

28 April 2006. Mainichi News

A 34-year-old Tokyo housewife started her fling a couple of years ago, according to Shukan Post (5/5-12).

"My husband works for a foreign company, so he makes a bit more money than most. But he's always so busy, it's been ages since we've had a romp," the woman, identified only as Mrs. A, tells Shukan Post. "I started going out at night more. Recently, a friend of ours invited me out to a disco, which is back in fashion again now. While there, I wait for somebody to come along and put the hard word on me. We'll go for a date a few nights later, but invariably end up heading off to a hotel. Feeling guilty about my husband while having sex with somebody else just makes it all the more thrilling."

Japan's couples are collapsing, according to the top selling weekly, adding that the number of women looking for amorous adventures is on the rise. Mayumi Nimatsu, head of the Sex and Couples Consultation Center, agrees.

"In 2003, a survey I carried out on 1,609 housewives showed that 17 percent had engaged in sex with a man other their husband at least once since they got married. Another 7.4 percent said they maintained an extramarital, heterosexual relationship," Nimatsu tells Shukan Post. "I expect the number of housewives engaged in activities like this will increase."

One of the main reasons for women looking outside of the connubial conclave is the sexless plague afflicting married Japanese.

A survey by the Japan Family Planning Association shows that 35 percent of married Japanese have not engaged in marital relations over the past month.

"Guys who choose to bring to an end their sex lives with their wives often use excuses such as their spouse losing interest after childbirth, or that work is keeping them so tired, they're left with a choice of pursuing hobbies or relations, and they regularly choose the former," Dr. Kunio Kitamura, head of the association, tells Shukan Post. "Sexless wives, meanwhile, say that sex is a bore and, when it does happen, it's always entirely what the husband wants with little attention paid to their own needs. If the couples don't work at it and let the problem lie, the divide between the couples will only be cleaved further."

Indeed, many women aren't even bothering with trying to coax their hubbies into better relationships. Instead, they sow a few wild oats of their own.

The men's weekly notes that Japan's multifaceted adult movie industry is proving to be a sturdy employer for housewives seeking some extra cash by starring in dirty movies.

"A large majority of women doing this sort of thing don't realize that their actions could end up ruining their families. They think marriage and affairs are two different issues," Sanae Kameyama, author of "Marriage Sex," tells Shukan Post. "Women now think they're only doing what men have always done up until now. But, I often hear of guys feeling guilty for cheating on their wives, but not as many women playing around feel as bad for their husbands. I'd guess that extramarital relationships are quietly going to become even more popular from now on, too."

[TRIPxCORE]

Awwwwwww, I feel so bad for those poor, poor little Japanese ladies. Not getting any good loving from their selfish husbands. I would be happy to go over and lend my assistance.

[Axel]

Now this is an interesting sentence:

"My husband works for a foreign company, so he makes a bit more money than most. But he's always so busy,..."

[camerata]

I occasionally get hit on by Japanese women in Western-style pubs, but they are usually late 20s, unnattractive and chain-smokers (I assume they are single). I've never come across any attractive but desperate housewives, or the "lip my stockings" type that Bill Murray encountered in Lost in Translation. The housewives seem to advertise online and always specify "not over 45".

[Bluecat]

I occasionally get hit on by Japanese women in Western-style pubs, but they are usually late 20s, unnattractive and chain-smokers (I assume they are single). I've never come across any attractive but desperate housewives, or the "lip my stockings" type that Bill Murray encountered in Lost in Translation. The housewives seem to advertise online and always specify "not over 45".

Never happened to me either but I just visit, I do not live there.
I do not know the right 'circles', I guess...

[Thaibebop]

I occasionally get hit on by Japanese women in Western-style pubs, but they are usually late 20s, unnattractive and chain-smokers (I assume they are single). I've never come across any attractive but desperate housewives, or the "lip my stockings" type that Bill Murray encountered in Lost in Translation. The housewives seem to advertise online and always specify "not over 45".

Hi, Camerata, good to see you here!

[camerata]

Thanks. I'm more interested in Japan than Thailand these days. Incidentally, the actor Hiroyuki Sanada in your current avatar is awesome in Onmyoji. He was a martial arts star with pretty-boy looks when he was young - check out Ninja in the Dragon's Den.

[Thaibebop]

Thanks. I'm more interested in Japan than Thailand these days. Incidentally, the actor Hiroyuki Sanada in your current avatar is awesome in Onmyoji. He was a martial arts star with pretty-boy looks when he was young - check out Ninja in the Dragon's Den.

I have got a list of his movies to see....if I can ever find them in this godforsaken place I live.

I really like him, he is one of those actors who can communicate with the face and nothing else. If you haven't seen Twlight Samurai, you must, beautiful movie and he did a great job.

[camerata]

I have got a list of his movies to see....if I can ever find them in this godforsaken place I live.

How about Amazon with free delivery?

I really like him, he is one of those actors who can communicate with the face and nothing else. If you haven't seen Twlight Samurai, you must, beautiful movie and he did a great job.

I seem to recall reading it was slow - like a lot of Japanese movies.

[Thaibebop]

I have got a list of his movies to see....if I can ever find them in this godforsaken place I live.

How about Amazon with free delivery? Oh yes, but we are not in a good place with money right now, so if I have to buy I must wait.

I really like him, he is one of those actors who can communicate with the face and nothing else. If you haven't seen Twlight Samurai, you must, beautiful movie and he did a great job.

I seem to recall reading it was slow - like a lot of Japanese movies.

It moved slow, but I thought it was worth it.

[Bluecat]

Not specific to Japanese women, I guess, but well, since it is published in a Japanese newspapers, it is about Japanese women...

Women and masturbation -- not an issue to play around with

7 May 2006. Mainichi News

All right, I know this isn't an issue that I should be bringing up in the respectable Mainichi, but I was inspired by an e-mail I received from a woman I'll call Miss W, who asked about masturbation.

First, let's hear what she has to say.

"I've been masturbating since I was in elementary school (from about fourth grade, I guess). I've been doing it for the nine years since then and now I'm an expert! It made my genitals go all misshapen and that has stopped me from having sex so far. I've decided I'm going to hold on to my virginity until I find somebody who doesn't care about that. I think it'd be fantastic if somebody wonderful appeared. I used to read this magazine called 'Shojo Kakumei (Girl's Revolution),'" the girl wrote.

I'll cut a bit out here and then continue with her mail. "Today, I was Onanistic again! I talk to my friends about Onanism, but none of them do it...or so they say. I found this book in the library that was all about Onanism and I decided to give it a try myself, through intellectual curiosity, of course. Girls don't talk about this stuff much, huh?"

Before commenting, let's settle some terminology issues. In Miss W's e-mail, she uses the terms "masturbation" and "Onanism." Onani, as the term is referred to in Japanese, derives from the Old Testament's Onan, who was punished by God because he spilled his seed on the ground; that is, he used the withdrawal method of birth control. The original meaning is considerably different from the way the word is used in Japanese now.

As for masturbation, the root word literally means "to dirty by hand." For that reason, I'm going to refer to the practice as "playing with yourself," because it's a bit more light-hearted. Incidentally, despite Miss W's worries about her irregularly shaped genitals, I can assure her that playing with herself had nothing to do with it.

According to a 2000 survey of university students by the Japanese Association for Sex Education, 94.2 percent of males and 40.1 percent of females had played with themselves. The results show that women are a little reluctant about the practice. Personally, I think playing with yourself has just as important a meaning for women as it does for men. Playing with yourself doesn't mean constantly thinking about your genitals, but it's preposterous that anybody could have sex without ever having touched or seen their own genitals, which are a part of their own body. You should never let somebody else see or touch a part of your own body that you have never seen or touched yourself.

There are some men and women who think sex is all about the great feelings it gives. When it comes to sex, these types think only of their own enjoyment. Meeting somebody like that is a fast track to making sex a turn-off for some. The first step to good sex is using your hands to explore your own body from head to toe. When you find somewhere that feels good, use a marker to draw a heart and point this out to your partner.

For those who really enjoy playing with themselves, I have recently worked in partnership with Jex Inc. to develop a jelly called Doctor G. Of course, the "G" is a phonetic representation of jii (the Japanese medical term for masturbation). We got all sorts of men and women to use the jelly while playing with themselves, picked out the elements that worked best and marketed products for each gender.

Please don't argue that playing with yourself will only worsen Japan's already crippling low birthrate. Playing with yourself is one way of controlling your sex drive and it is an effective tool for both men and women when it comes to the prevention of such matters as sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS and unwanted pregnancies.

If that's not convincing enough, allow me to finish this week's column with a quote I absolutely adore after hearing it in the Woody Allen film "Annie Hall."

"Masturbation is sex with the person you love the most." (By Dr. Kunio Kitamura, special to the Mainichi)

[Bluecat]

I posted the article in the 'Dutch wife' thread: http://www.orientexpat.com/forum/index.php...wtopic=2330&hl=

But I think it is more appropriate to post it here also...

Lusty lady takes quartet of toy boys for a spin

7 May 2006. Mainichi News

It is a well known fact that "Dutch Wives" -- the Japanese term for silicone females used as sex substitutes -- sell by the thousands in Japan. Some deluxe models even go for several hundred thousand yen.

What is less known, reports Uramono Japan (June), is that a counterparts of these dolls, equipped with male appendages, are available for women. And the magazine is eager to become the first to break the news about the existence of these toy boys, in an article entitled "Josei-yo dattchi dooru wa watashi wo mitash*te kurureru kashira" (I wonder if a female-use Dutch doll can satisfy me).

The story is reported by Chifumi Konno, a 22-year-old woman employed by a "delivery health" (outcall sex service) company. Being experienced in matters sexual, Ms. Konno is certainly no blushing violet when it comes to telling Uramono Japan's readers about her encounters with these new inflatable goodies.

The first of Konno's four "boyfriends" is named "Masaki." Although youthful, the expression painted on his rubber face, Konno writes, didn't look happy at all -- but more like he's about to start sobbing any second. When blown up, Masaki's procreative member points to noon. And, the reviewer notes, he's equipped with an anal aperture on his reverse portal, but that's more likely to be provided for gays than gals.

Although bathing together in a love hotel's spacious tub is generally a prerequisite for cavorting atop the bed, Ms. Konno found to her frustration that no amount of force could immerse the inflatable "Masaki" below the water's surface.

And once in bed, his foreplay technique proved nonexistent.

Then, assuming the missionary position, the moment of truth arrived. "I coated his pecker with lotion and used a hand to slip him into me," she relates. "He was . . . big. But on top of me nothing happened."

Based on the way his limbs bent, 'Masaki' seemed to be better configured for sex in the seated position. "But when his dick got all the way in, it hurt. And no amount of rubbing him was able to get me aroused," Konno grimaces.

Next up to bat was "Yuji." Blessed with a moustache, heavy eyebrows and a scowling visage that resembles the face of writer Chuzo Wada, he was produced by the same company as Masaki and sold for the same price (not mentioned in the article). But as masculine and vigorous as he appears, Yuji just lies there. So once again Konno was forced to take the initiative.

Then she tries to do it "doggy style," but finds being mounted from behind to be consummately awkward. And wiggling her backside to encourage a friendly thrust or two gets no response. With Yuji, it seems, she can't get no satisfaction either.

Next on the list was "John," a Western import featuring three-dimensional facial features (i.e., a big nose), hairy chest and bushy moustache. And John's, er, equipment was also proportionally larger than his Japanese rivals. Indeed, during her stint as a sex industry worker, Ms. Konno had never encountered such a huge tallywhacker, and wasn't the least bit interested in being impaled upon it. So that was that.

Last but not least was "Ken Ijuin," a high-tech "Dutch husband" made of semi-solid material. And so realistic, writes Konno, "He was like a corpse. Gave me the creeps at first."

Ken's male root was bigger than John's, but the angle of his dangle was lower -- "about what you'd expect from a 60-year-old man," Konno sniffs -- and his rubbery, chemical body odor, which a bath did nothing to alleviate, was a big turnoff.

Ms. Konno was able to accommodate about half of Ken's shaft without undue discomfort, and said it was actually starting to feel like the real thing; but compared with a human partner the difference was still "undei no za" (as different as the clouds and mud), as they say in Japanese.

"About all he (Ken) might be good for is one of those full-body pillows to sleep with," Konno pronounces.

To cap the story, Konno accompanies the four to a public park where cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and arranges them around a picnic table to pose for a commemorative photo.

"The girls who saw them said they thought 'John' was the cutest," she winks. "Well that just goes to show, until you've actually made it with one, you never can tell who's the best." (By Masuo Kamiyama, contributing writer)

[Bluecat]

Did anyone buy a copy of the May 31 edition of what seems to be a popular woman's magazine...?

Ladies flash the cash, but don't want the money shot in their dirty DVDs

5 June 2006. Mainichi News

Picture the scene... A woman wearing a floral micro miniskirt and white jacket enters a room with her boyfriend. He gently sits her down on a chair and approaches her from behind. He raises her arms and wraps a blindfold around her. She seems worried as he slides a hand into her underwear. Later, she stands naked, facing a window offering a glorious nighttime skyline view as he approaches her from behind and slowly penetrates, Josei Seven (6/15) says.

If it sounds like a scene out of a porno flick, it should. Because that's precisely what it is. But it's a dirty DVD with a difference: It's one targeted specifically at women and was available at all stores across the country, even those frequented by families.

"Dirty DVD for Girls," the movie from which the scene is derived, was a special giveaway purchases of the May 31 edition of an an, one of Japan's most popular women's magazines.

"We sold about 500,000 copies of the sex issue, which is around 200,000 more than usual," a spokeswoman for Magazine House, publisher of an an, tells Josei Seven.

For the past 15 years, an an has produced an annual "sex issue." It's often been controversial; like in 1998, when it featured SMAP heartthrob Takuya Kimura, then at the height of his popularity, in sex scenes with a foreign woman. Or again the following year, when another SMAP member, Shingo Katori, posed nude, as well as in 2002 when squeaky-clean actress Ryoko Shinohara offered seminude shots.

When it first started, an an's sex issue was fairly tame, offering mild recommendations to women, like how white lingerie can be a turn-on. Now, though, it's full-throttle sex, using detailed graphic depictions to explain techniques and positions, steamy photos and even explanations on combating sexually transmitted diseases.

Apart from the dirty DVD for dames, which was a first for the an an sex issue, this year's issue has an extensive interview with Kumi Koda, the singer attributed for sparking Japan's boom in the culture erokawa -- erotic kawaii, or cute.

"Dirty DVD for Girls" was made by a major Japanese adult movie company, one of the many tapping into a pornographic cinema market the women's weekly says is worth 10 billion yen a year. It starred Nana Natsume, a 24-year-old who is one of the biggest stick flick starlets in Japan, which also became a talking point for the an an sex issue.

"Ten years ago, the adult movie market was said to be only about one-tenth of that for men. What movies there were for women were more like 'How to' types that explained positions and techniques rather than actual movies with storylines or sex scenes," Kamon Taira, an adult movie critic, tells Josei Seven. "Those sorts of movies weren't the kind that sexually mature women were going to watch. Women want adult movies where the sex scenes are given more weight than storylines, too. But they don't want close-ups of bosoms or genitals. They want to be charmed by the looks of the men appearing in the films and the atmosphere of the places where the sex is happening."

"Dirty DVD for Girls" comes in two parts, each of which is about 15 minutes long. There are no scenes of women fondling male genitals and no ejaculation shots, both points that men's magazines have cited as reasons for the an an giveaway leaving them limp. But women are looking for something different with their dirty DVDs.

"We want to check how 'real' they can get it. Like, whether the clothes the women are wearing are fashionable or not," a 29-year-old female office worker says. "The guy (in 'Dirty DVD for Girls') didn't wear the skimpy little undies you'd expect in an adult movie, but instead had on a pair of boxers with plenty of room to move, which was a refreshing change and made it easier to watch."

A 41-year-old housewife agrees that women like dirty DVDs.

"It'd be really nice if rental video stores had sections for adult movies targeting women," she tells Josei Seven. "We don't want the 'How to' stuff. Give us the stuff that's gonna make us feel good."

[TRIPxCORE]

A 41-year-old housewife agrees that women like dirty DVDs.

"It'd be really nice if rental video stores had sections for adult movies targeting women," she tells Josei Seven. "We don't want the 'How to' stuff. Give us the stuff that's gonna make us feel good."

I'll give ya the stuff that makes you feel good, baby!