HIMEKA in JAPAN

You realize someone doesn’t care much about you when :

-They don’t reply to your messages at all/ignore you

-They used to spend time with you but now they say they’re busy, yet they spend time with all their other friends. They don’t wanna drink with you but they drink with all their other friends.

-They find one hour to spend with you one day but then suddenly run away to do something else. But they spend endless hours with everyone else they know….

-They don’t talk to you at all other than that.

Ah. Why do I even care? I’m alone anyway.

I was asked some years ago why I didn’t trust people…

Don’t ask why anymore. I dunno how many nice things I was told since some years ago, but all these things were obviously a joke or a lie.

I’d rather be alone than be with such untruthful people who don’t even care. Am I not alone all the time anyway?

I had decided to put myself on a diet for the next two weeks but….wow.
Why is my will so weak? Why is food such a weakness for me?
It’s not really about losing weight this time though………
Even though I wouldn’t be unhappy if I lost a little fat in the thighs….
But it’s about my face full of pimples.
I swear it’s not pretty right now (once again….)
And on top of that, it hurts.
I thought I’d try to put myself to a strict veggie-only diet or something….but….
Wow. I gave in so quickly.
But failure is when you give up. So even if you fall, as long as you get back up, it’s not the end!!! (or something)

Wow. You must all be thinking what kind of stupid person I am.
Lately I’ve been so girly-girly. Ew.

On top of that….there’s something girly-girly I’m doing right now.
I’m watching…………….girly anime. w00t.
I didn’t watch anime in forever.

The whole reason behind this is because I was really bored even though I should be thinking of important things….
And someone told me Mizuki Nana was the voice of the main girl in this…!!!!
Itazura na Kiss.
So I just started watching. Hopefully it’ll be entertaining for now.

I know I should be serious and focus on my life but….
At this moment the stress of decisions is building up and watching something cute and funny isn’t doing me any bad.

I really am not very mature. Haha.

Night!

-HIMEKA

Last night when I walked to the 99 yen shop….
I could hear a concert from a distance.
I thought it must have been at the Yoyogi place……….the whatever it’s called center. I dunno, but it’s just next to Yoyogi Park.
But I was like wow………I could hear the fans screaming even though it’s not right NEXT to the place I was at.
I kept wondering who it could be…….. so I tried to open my ears and hear the music even though it was hard.
When I walked back, wow, the fans were louder than ever, singing along. x_x
I wondered what kind of big artist it was.

Then I heard the last melody line of a chorus. Haha. It sounded like ARASHI. XD
I’m not 100% sure, but I wouldn’t be surprised. Oh boy. The fangirls were so loud.

And so I chuckled to myself as I walked back home.
Aaah. Sakurai-san. He’s so cute. *sighs* Wait a minute, I’m NOT a fangirl!
Hehehee. They seem to be on TV shows a lot now. They’re like the big thing.
A few years ago, TOKIO was the big thing on TV….but I guess people grow tired at some point.

Anyway, completely unrelated but…
I couldn’t sleep well last night.
I feel so shitty, emotionally.
I feel completely alone.
And I hate when my feelings are just making my life so much more complicated.
If I felt focused on something before and suddenly get an emotional down….I completely stop caring about what I’m doing.
Nothing makes sense and I just wanna go to a place where I could be alone and live as a hermit or something.
I’m feeling so alone though.
It’s really weighing me down.
I feel like there’s no one or nothing to turn to that could help me figure things out.
It sucks I’m so clueless at times. I wish I could get wisdom.
Anyone knows where I can buy some for cheap? (lol)

I have work tonight.
I really hate late shifts….
I have work tomorrow too, but it’s a day shift and I finish before the cleanup, so yay!
I’ve got a lot more free time in the upcoming 2 next week, which is convenient because I need time to get ready for the Animax contest finals. I still didn’t go shopping to find something to wear…
I have no clue where to shop in Japan…… and I don’t seem to have friends available to shop with. =_= *cries*

Alright, I guess I should go eat and maybe get ready for a bit of singing practice.
I feel like I’ve been so busy, I’m slacking off the practice….
I got so lazy after my days off just started. I guess I was too tired.

Love,

-HIMEKA

Yes. I’m still alive. This is a proof.

Sorry if I made your computer explode or your eyes bleed. Haha.

Don’t you think I look a bit like my mascot monkey??! XD Haha. Hilarious. <3

Okay, I’ve been busy and I’m heading out again right now. But I’ll post more soon.

I’ll do my best!!!

Love to all.

*chu*

-HIMEKA

SLEEP.

Thank you.

O.M.G.

I couldn’t sleep and suddenly felt SO nostalgic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfu55C_Pm2c

MARMALADE BOY! I watched it from summer 1997. Wow. 11 years ago!

It looks so old fashionned now. (wait…it did back then too XD)

Waaaaaaaaah. The voice actors…….

Miki… Kouda Mariko <3333333

Yuu…Okiyasomething Ryoutarou (???? ok, too lazy to look it up)

Suzu…wasn’t that Tange Sakura’s first role??! (same VA as Sakura in CCS)

Kei..Ishida Akira <333333333

Arimi : Hisakawa Aya <3333333

Nacchan : The same dude who does Mamoru (sailor moon)’s voice…Furuya Tohru? Something like that…

etc, etc…………

Wow. I am so in love again.

I looked up a random episode part of youtube for nostalgic purposes..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssg3PWFE4Y8

For people who know me closely…omg. Isn’t it hilarious how similar I am to Miki?

I used to think so when I was younger, but I’m just so honest and a crybaby, even at this age. XD mooooo *whines*

Oh God OH GOD, I feel so so so nostalgic now, I gotta sing a song from Marmalade Boy!!!

Maybe I’ll sing the legendary (lol) ‘MOMENT’ insert song from the series.

*weeps tears of joy*

Okay. Enough. I shouldn’t even be up. I’m just trying to distract myself from reality and running back to the past. I love my bubble. And my past full of love inside my head and too much drama!! Or something.

Night <3

I feel empty and alone right now.

And it looks like my future is very uncertain at the moment…

*dies*

There’s a crazy storm outside.
I’ve been lazy tonight ever since I came back from work.
I neglected my duties. Not good.

I have so much to say but such little energy, so please excuse me.
I’ll just say quickly that I picked my songs for the Animax finals.
It was very tough. I went to late karaoke practice to figure it out last night.
It’s possible they change your song to your 2nd choice if 2 people pick the same one (I think?) or if one of the musical guests sing it. I hope my songs will be my first choices….for a lot of reasons.
I’ll keep my fingers crossed. I hope we get to know soon.

And I *hope* Mizuki Nana might be one of the guests. Wouldn’t that be fantastic? *_*

I have work again……so I need to sleep now. I have many more long days ahead, full of important things to do.

Love to all the support <3
May you all be well,

-HIMEKA

WAAH!! I’m so busy! Someone make the time stop!

Okay, time to go now.