I have to go to sleep but……..

AAAAH!!! A****-san posted such a cute picture of himself on his blog. XD

*sniff* *blushes* Noooooooooo!!! Why is he so lovely??!! Why am I even reading his blog!!! I won’t meet him ever again anyway!! I gotta stop!! nooooooooo! (lol)

*End of fangirlism* hehe :P

Last night when I walked to the 99 yen shop….
I could hear a concert from a distance.
I thought it must have been at the Yoyogi place……….the whatever it’s called center. I dunno, but it’s just next to Yoyogi Park.
But I was like wow………I could hear the fans screaming even though it’s not right NEXT to the place I was at.
I kept wondering who it could be…….. so I tried to open my ears and hear the music even though it was hard.
When I walked back, wow, the fans were louder than ever, singing along. x_x
I wondered what kind of big artist it was.

Then I heard the last melody line of a chorus. Haha. It sounded like ARASHI. XD
I’m not 100% sure, but I wouldn’t be surprised. Oh boy. The fangirls were so loud. :P

And so I chuckled to myself as I walked back home.
Aaah. Sakurai-san. He’s so cute. *sighs* Wait a minute, I’m NOT a fangirl! :P
Hehehee. They seem to be on TV shows a lot now. They’re like the big thing.
A few years ago, TOKIO was the big thing on TV….but I guess people grow tired at some point.

Anyway, completely unrelated but…
I couldn’t sleep well last night.
I feel so shitty, emotionally.
I feel completely alone.
And I hate when my feelings are just making my life so much more complicated.
If I felt focused on something before and suddenly get an emotional down….I completely stop caring about what I’m doing.
Nothing makes sense and I just wanna go to a place where I could be alone and live as a hermit or something.
I’m feeling so alone though.
It’s really weighing me down.
I feel like there’s no one or nothing to turn to that could help me figure things out.
It sucks I’m so clueless at times. I wish I could get wisdom.
Anyone knows where I can buy some for cheap? (lol)

I have work tonight.
I really hate late shifts….
I have work tomorrow too, but it’s a day shift and I finish before the cleanup, so yay!
I’ve got a lot more free time in the upcoming 2 next week, which is convenient because I need time to get ready for the Animax contest finals. I still didn’t go shopping to find something to wear…
I have no clue where to shop in Japan…… and I don’t seem to have friends available to shop with. =_= *cries*

Alright, I guess I should go eat and maybe get ready for a bit of singing practice.
I feel like I’ve been so busy, I’m slacking off the practice….
I got so lazy after my days off just started. I guess I was too tired.

Love,

-HIMEKA

It’s terribly late again and I really need good sleep tonight.

There are millions of things I want to write about…

But I guess I’m lacking the time…..and now the energy.

I’m definitely not doing so great. I wish I could talk about it.

But just for tonight, I’ll post something that I feel strongly about.

I bought Kalafina’s (Yuki Kajiura’s new project) new single ‘Sprinter’. *_*

I can’t stop listening to this song. It’s just…….wow. So perfect.

The melody. THE MELODY. Aaaaaaaaah. The guitar part when the verses start…….. the lyrics. The image of the song…………..

Yuki Kajiura is really a genius…..

I want to post more about her right now, but that’ll have to wait.

I just wish I could tell her how grateful I am to her music lately. When I feel stressed out, I listen to one of her soundtracks and I feel more at peace. Such beautiful pieces of work, she wrote….

If you haven’t listened to ‘Sprinter’ yet, please take a listen :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dox86Vi9WYA

Goodnight~

-HIMEKA

Yes. I’m still alive. This is a proof.

Sorry if I made your computer explode or your eyes bleed. Haha.

Don’t you think I look a bit like my mascot monkey??! XD Haha. Hilarious. <3

Okay, I’ve been busy and I’m heading out again right now. But I’ll post more soon.

I’ll do my best!!!

Love to all.

*chu*

-HIMEKA

SLEEP.

Thank you.

O.M.G.

I couldn’t sleep and suddenly felt SO nostalgic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfu55C_Pm2c

MARMALADE BOY! I watched it from summer 1997. Wow. 11 years ago!

It looks so old fashionned now. (wait…it did back then too XD)

Waaaaaaaaah. The voice actors…….

Miki… Kouda Mariko <3333333

Yuu…Okiyasomething Ryoutarou (???? ok, too lazy to look it up)

Suzu…wasn’t that Tange Sakura’s first role??! (same VA as Sakura in CCS)

Kei..Ishida Akira <333333333

Arimi : Hisakawa Aya <3333333

Nacchan : The same dude who does Mamoru (sailor moon)’s voice…Furuya Tohru? Something like that…

etc, etc…………

Wow. I am so in love again. :D

I looked up a random episode part of youtube for nostalgic purposes..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssg3PWFE4Y8

For people who know me closely…omg. Isn’t it hilarious how similar I am to Miki?

I used to think so when I was younger, but I’m just so honest and a crybaby, even at this age. XD mooooo *whines*

Oh God OH GOD, I feel so so so nostalgic now, I gotta sing a song from Marmalade Boy!!!

Maybe I’ll sing the legendary (lol) ‘MOMENT’ insert song from the series.

*weeps tears of joy*

Okay. Enough. I shouldn’t even be up. I’m just trying to distract myself from reality and running back to the past. I love my bubble. And my past full of love inside my head and too much drama!! Or something.

Night <3

I feel empty and alone right now.

And it looks like my future is very uncertain at the moment…

*dies*

There’s a crazy storm outside.
I’ve been lazy tonight ever since I came back from work.
I neglected my duties. Not good.

I have so much to say but such little energy, so please excuse me.
I’ll just say quickly that I picked my songs for the Animax finals.
It was very tough. I went to late karaoke practice to figure it out last night.
It’s possible they change your song to your 2nd choice if 2 people pick the same one (I think?) or if one of the musical guests sing it. I hope my songs will be my first choices….for a lot of reasons.
I’ll keep my fingers crossed. I hope we get to know soon.

And I *hope* Mizuki Nana might be one of the guests. Wouldn’t that be fantastic? *_*

I have work again……so I need to sleep now. I have many more long days ahead, full of important things to do.

Love to all the support <3
May you all be well,

-HIMEKA

WAAH!! I’m so busy! Someone make the time stop!

Okay, time to go now.

I just got home a short while ago.
I had work today.
Then I had something music-related tonight.
I was soooo stressed out.
I never did something like this before.
I felt incredibly pathetic and unskilled and unexperienced.
But in the end, things turned out okay. I’m surprised my voice was able to come out even though these songs were SO above my range.
But I’m super happy it’s finished for now.
I have to go another time for the same kind of job next week (probably), but at least now I know what to expect. I’ll do my best to be more ready next time. :)

We went eating afterwards. I had a few drinks. Just 2 though, but I’m still a little buzzed even now. ^^;;; I think alcohol is okay as long as you don’t go overboard. Looks like drinking is really common in Japan. Sheesh! Mah. Everything is okay with moderation. Remember that folks.

The one big thing that ruined my day was that I got a strange person talking to me in the train. He wasn’t mean or anything………but he was very insisting and even got off my station to try to walk me home and get my number. I gave him my e-mail though, but I hope he doesn’t end up searching like crazy and find out infos about me. =_= I’m incredibly troubled right now. I think I’ll have nightmares. I don’t have time for this. Or to be nice to people I meet on the street. I mean………gosh, I’m already stressed out and busy…..like no one could imagine. I wanna cry. T_T I hope nothing happens from there. I should remember never to accept talking to a stranger. Like wow. How idiotic of me. He kept bugging me to know where I work………..so I wouldn’t be surprised if he did an internet search with my e-mail address. =_= I tried just now and I found this one 2ch thread that gave the link to my blog so………..I’m scared. I felt wrong but I’m just too honest. And thing is….I was still a bit drunk so I didn’t think clearly enough not to give out any infos. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I’m so scared. =_= I don’t wanna die. I’ve been depressed for the longest time, but now that I finally have a door to the future, please God……help me. I sound like I’m joking but I’m honestly feeling very scared and paranoid right now.

I have to learn to be more careful from now on. I mean, in general….
Things are going to get more and more like this with time though.
Eventually if my face gets out there, people could randomly try to talk to me or do things like these……… then I’ll have to be firmer and just not give into their requests.

I pray that I get stronger…

Other than that, I want to apologize for my previous entry. Haha.
Even though it’s now that I had alcohol, I feel so ashamed I wrote this. Like…COME ON.
But hey, I won’t delete it. I don’t take it back :P
It’s been so long since I had a crush on someone.
It doesn’t matter I hardly know him (all I know is from what I saw/felt…the rest is from what I heard and read on his blog. XD). But hey. I’m just a normal girl after all. I get crushes too! :D
*sniff* But hey, sayonara natsu no akogare…or something. I don’t think I’ll have a chance to really see him so closely ever again. XD BUT I GOT VIDEOS!!! *cackles evily*

Okay, I shut up now.
Goodnight all. Sorry for the pointless update.
Thank you for all your encouragements for the Animax Grandprix finals!!!!!
I’ll do my best!!!!!!! Tomorrow I have work again, so it’s time to sleep. :) (oh wait…it’s already passed midnight again, isn’t it)

-HIMEKA

 

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