Lots of stuff.

August 28, 2008 in Uncategorized | 2 comments

I just got home a short while ago.
I had work today.
Then I had something music-related tonight.
I was soooo stressed out.
I never did something like this before.
I felt incredibly pathetic and unskilled and unexperienced.
But in the end, things turned out okay. I’m surprised my voice was able to come out even though these songs were SO above my range.
But I’m super happy it’s finished for now.
I have to go another time for the same kind of job next week (probably), but at least now I know what to expect. I’ll do my best to be more ready next time. :)

We went eating afterwards. I had a few drinks. Just 2 though, but I’m still a little buzzed even now. ^^;;; I think alcohol is okay as long as you don’t go overboard. Looks like drinking is really common in Japan. Sheesh! Mah. Everything is okay with moderation. Remember that folks.

The one big thing that ruined my day was that I got a strange person talking to me in the train. He wasn’t mean or anything………but he was very insisting and even got off my station to try to walk me home and get my number. I gave him my e-mail though, but I hope he doesn’t end up searching like crazy and find out infos about me. =_= I’m incredibly troubled right now. I think I’ll have nightmares. I don’t have time for this. Or to be nice to people I meet on the street. I mean………gosh, I’m already stressed out and busy…..like no one could imagine. I wanna cry. T_T I hope nothing happens from there. I should remember never to accept talking to a stranger. Like wow. How idiotic of me. He kept bugging me to know where I work………..so I wouldn’t be surprised if he did an internet search with my e-mail address. =_= I tried just now and I found this one 2ch thread that gave the link to my blog so………..I’m scared. I felt wrong but I’m just too honest. And thing is….I was still a bit drunk so I didn’t think clearly enough not to give out any infos. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I’m so scared. =_= I don’t wanna die. I’ve been depressed for the longest time, but now that I finally have a door to the future, please God……help me. I sound like I’m joking but I’m honestly feeling very scared and paranoid right now.

I have to learn to be more careful from now on. I mean, in general….
Things are going to get more and more like this with time though.
Eventually if my face gets out there, people could randomly try to talk to me or do things like these……… then I’ll have to be firmer and just not give into their requests.

I pray that I get stronger…

Other than that, I want to apologize for my previous entry. Haha.
Even though it’s now that I had alcohol, I feel so ashamed I wrote this. Like…COME ON.
But hey, I won’t delete it. I don’t take it back :P
It’s been so long since I had a crush on someone.
It doesn’t matter I hardly know him (all I know is from what I saw/felt…the rest is from what I heard and read on his blog. XD). But hey. I’m just a normal girl after all. I get crushes too! :D
*sniff* But hey, sayonara natsu no akogare…or something. I don’t think I’ll have a chance to really see him so closely ever again. XD BUT I GOT VIDEOS!!! *cackles evily*

Okay, I shut up now.
Goodnight all. Sorry for the pointless update.
Thank you for all your encouragements for the Animax Grandprix finals!!!!!
I’ll do my best!!!!!!! Tomorrow I have work again, so it’s time to sleep. :) (oh wait…it’s already passed midnight again, isn’t it)

-HIMEKA

Funny pathetic entry. :P

August 27, 2008 in Uncategorized | 3 comments

“Hi! I really think you’re an amazing guitarist…(*_*) I know that you’re doing various other music things and I was wondering if there was anywhere else I could go watch you perform, if I have the time, if it’s okay? Could you let me know the next time you have a band play somewhere? (:D (with a grin))”

T_T …………
I missed my only/last chance to talk to him.
Why did I do my Animax call back at the wrong time?
I was really planning to.
=_=

Oh well, I guess I wasn’t meant to!

………………….. :( Haha. I’m so childish.
And I should be focusing on music (but hey, focusing on musicians, does that count too? :P just kidding).

Okay. Goodbye~ *waves handkerchief*
I really wanted to get to know you­~ *sniff*
You never noticed I existed and I never had the chance to actually talk with you more than a ‘hello’ or a ‘otsukaresama’, but I wish you a great life anyway~ ~ ~

Okay, sorry for this stupid update.
I’ll do a proper one as soon as I find a bit of time.
I got work again tomorrow. Then something music-related later.
I should get some sleep..it’s already 2:30am.

Thanks for all the kind comments. :)
I’ll do my best with the Animax finals….

-HIMEKA

Contestant #7, Animax Grandprix finalist : September 21st!

August 26, 2008 in Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | | 10 comments

*drum rolls*
It wasn’t easy, but made it to finals for the Animax contest.
We are 2 finalists in Tokyo, so I imagine there are 2 finalists in each city (I thought it was supposed to be 3…).

I wasn’t satisfied with what I did, but what is done is done.
I hope I can improve my nervousness level and control my voice better.
For the stage presence, I dunno if I can improve at all….
And for the interviews…….I’m NO GOOD. T_T;;; Not just due to my level of japanese. I’m very camera-shy. I got completely insecure mostly cause of that. I don’t want to be interviewed… ;_;

But hey! I was number 7! (nana-ban …hahaha…and my song was a Mizuki NANA song ;) )
All the contestants were so serious about this contest. They are all aspiring anime singers or voice actors or idols… Some of them are really doing things on the side to try to achieve their dreams at the moment. They were all lovely people. Some of them were really nice. Some of them were cool. Some of them were so cute. *_*

I wish I could say more, but I’m as busy as ever.
I really had a great experience and I’m very grateful to have a chance to be in the finals.
Since these people worked so hard, I want to give my best and not disappoint them for having me there.
MAKENAI!!!!!!!!!!!! *fist in the air* (haha……..so lame) That’ll follow me forever or something.

Afterwards, I went to eat very late dinner with Nano, Yukihir0 and Phil (who’s not on the pic, he took it…sorry!! >_<)

The day after, I came across a parade when I got out of work. Waaaah! <3 It was awesome. But it was raining a bit.

Then I learned later that Marie Digby was performing that day on Omotesando. Noooo! I missed it! I would have gone to watch. T_T Well, if that would have been after my shift, that is. If you don’t know who Marie Digby is, you should check out her stuff! She had been really popular on youtube especially after her ‘Umbrella’ acoustic cover. She’s a singer-songwriter, she’s (half?) japanese, sings in english. She was signed with a record label in the US, but she started releasing stuff in Japan with Avex, it seems.

Other than that, my face is still full of pimples. I know it’s mainly due to hormones and stress issues, but I think I need to do a drastic diet. As in…..cut off all sugary things and avoid greasy foods as much as possible….. It won’t change the stress part, but it can’t be bad to eat more healthy, right? If you hear of me eating chocolate, please slap me in the face!!!! >0<

I have to go get ready for some more singing practice today, since I don’t have work.
Gonna go do that now.
Then afterwards, going to watch Nano perform with Ayumu again. :)
Much <333 Go Nano!! Go Ayumu!!

Many thanks to all of you who give me support.
I do read all your comments. :)
I won’t let you down!!!

-HIMEKA

August 23rd, CONTEST TIME! Rock on!!! Or I should say ‘Anime on!!!’ haha….

August 23, 2008 in Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | | 7 comments

I’m alive!!!!!!!

No, seriously. I’ve been wanting to post, I swear.
I’m just really busy and tired, as usual.

It’s already passed midnight.

I want to thank everyone who took the time to read and reply to my dormitory post. Things aren’t easy, but that’s what I have to deal with for now. I just hope I can find a way to move eventually, if possible, not too far from now. It’s mostly a monetary issue, but I want to be positive. When I think of having my own place, I feel very peaceful inside. So I’ll try to picture that as my dream world from now on…haha. If I think of it strongly enough, it will surely happen. :) Yay! <3

Last week, I went to Asakusa to the temple and got an omikuji.
To my greatest surprise, I got the FIRST one. I mean, out of….how many? 100? I got number 1? Haha, that was funny. But the best thing was…. it was a GOOD fortune! (Best fortune). So all that was written on it was good. BRING IT ON, THE FUTURE! :D <3 (Wow, did I really become lucky now?)

I’m trying to remember all the things I’ve done other than work….

I go watch Nano perform with her guitarist every week. Along with Yukihir0 (who doesn’t seem to want people to use her real name :P).

Nano is awesome. I can’t believe how much she’s improved ever since she started doing this.
I can’t wait to be able to get to watch a full concert of her with her back band in the future, which isn’t all that far.

Can I be forgiven for saying this? CAN I??? PLEASE FORGIVE ME.
It’s unlike me to dare post something so stupid.
Nano’s guitarist is <33333333333 XD I really don’t personally know him but…….
I just hope I don’t start grinning like an idiot when he says hi to me now.
Haha. Funny stuff.

The other day I walked around Shinjuku station and found a wonderful singer performing. I know I heard the song before…but not sure where. Maybe it was on TV. I can just say one thing : She was the most amazing sound to hear live. She sounded perfect. I couldn’t believe my ears. It was very folk-ish, which is definitely not easy to sing. And despite that she was just one girl with a mic and standing on the ground with nothing else special, she had so much passion and presence that it really mesmerized me.

Her name is Kamita Mika.
She seems to be working really hard for her career.
I bought the CD that included that one song…. and she offered to sign it for me!
I was so happy. XD


Ok, I look like crap on this pic. I was all sweaty cause it’s so humid here. Japan’s summer. Yeah.
Why don’t japanese people sweat??! I don’t get it. T_T My face looks so oily…haha! But Mika is cute <3

This is an older video, but this is the song that she sang (I don’t wanna diss this video, but she improved like 100x. When I saw her the other day, she sounded like she completely mastered that song over time. I mean, this video is good but………the live I saw the other day was so flawless) :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-OpEJeKJB8
Tomorrow……..erm…TODAY now (wow, already 1am),
is the Animax Grandprix contest.
It’s a bit hard for me to believe it. I still feel in my little daily life. Am I really gonna sing tomorrow?? (er..today?) I don’t want to think about doing good. I don’t wanna think about anything.

I just want to think about singing. And feeling the song.
As much as I wish I could do everything perfectly, I think worrying too much about everything is just going to make it worse.
I’ve had some stage experience before, but pretty seldomly………
And now it’s been 2 years since the last time.
I don’t want to let the stage fright ruin my own enjoyment!!
I hope I meet a lot of formidable contestants that I can enjoy the day with, since we have to be there starting 10am. I wish I could be in the audience to watch the show though!! It would be nice if we had a back screen….

Anyway, I’m singing ‘ETERNAL BLAZE’ by Mizuki Nana.
I admire her so much. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to pick a song of such an incomparable singer.
But I’ll do my best. ^_^
Mizuki Nana sounds incredible live. And this song is so difficult.
I think the hardest part is the ‘mirai e’. Somehow, ending high head voice notes in head voice is easy with ‘i (ee)’ and ‘u (oo)’ sounds…..but ‘e (eeh)’ is really REALLY difficult. Even when I practice, I don’t do well on it half the time. I wanted to find a trick, but I wasn’t able to. Please cross your fingers that I don’t mess up there. XD

Nana-san performed this song live many times, but this is my favorite of all the ones posted on youtube :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCplGVxuTY8

YAY! Let’s all enjoy (what?)!

-HIMEKA

Wow.

August 15, 2008 in Uncategorized | Tags: | | 4 comments

So many days have passed since I’ve wanted to make another actual update with pictures…
But I have an unexpected long shift tomorrow for work. My boss called me an hour ago to ask me if I could come in cause she made a mistake on the schedule and needs an extra person. Which means I’m doing a morning-evening shift again.

I just looked at my older posts…. and even though I dunno how many posts behind I’ve turned to ‘private’ status, even the newer ones that sound somewhat positive always end up having such a depressing turn to them. Like wow! You must be all getting so depressed after reading my posts. LOL. I sound so emo. But hey, it’s better to laugh at it, right? :)

Thanks for sticking around.
I promise in the end, I won’t let you down.
And yes, I do mean that to all the people who read, even if you don’t comment.
I’ll do my best.

-HIMEKA

Giant…peanut? o_O;

August 11, 2008 in Uncategorized | Tags: | | 2 comments

My boss made me finish earlier tonight because it wasn’t busy anymore.
I have to say I was happy about it. Cause before that, today was REALLY busy.

And I’m very tired these days.

So I treated myself to some ice cream.

And then I almost unexpectedly (previously unplannedly) encountered a giant peanut (with arms and legs) featured in this post’s picture. Haha. Okay, it wasn’t my idea to call her a peanut, but whatever!

This upcoming week, I have more days off work.
Most of the people I knew in Japan have gone back to their own country, but I still have to say goodbye to a few. So I’m gonna hang out a bit this week before they leave.

Other than that, I have other plans and duties for the week.

-HIMEKA

Karaoke practice and such…

August 10, 2008 in Uncategorized | Tags: | | 7 comments

I got my pay for last month a little earlier, so I was able to go to practice at karaoke on friday night!

It has not been easy to keep money aside to go practice, but I think it will get easier now that I’m working a lot.

I have partly been practicing for the upcoming Animax anime song contest in 2 weeks.
I know that my weak point is my weak stage presence….and my incredible nervousness.
I still hope I’ll enjoy this experience as much as possible!
Who knows, maybe I will meet new people through this!

I had my first (one-time) vocal job ever on last thursday, along with Nano at her producer’s place.
I was so nervous, even though it was only for backvocals.
But singing is always a fun thing to do so….I’m always doing my best to remember to enjoy what I do. Music shouldn’t be only a duty. Music is about feeling and I’ll never change my mind on that!

I have a long shift tomorrow (now today…oops, it’s already passed midnight!). 10am until midnight. So I will now go to bed!
Goodnight!

No matter what, I won’t give up!

Thank you for reading.
And all the kind comments.
They mean a lot to me, especially these days.

-HIMEKA

It is 8-8-8 now (date).

August 8, 2008 in Uncategorized | 1 comment

Thank you for everything….
God, life, people….
For finding a way to let me be okay financially.
Even if I’m very tight with my budget, what matters is that I have enough to survive with.
I’m very grateful for that.
Thank you so much.

July 20th - 今日は私の誕生日です。

July 20, 2008 in Uncategorized | 19 comments

Today is my birthday.

July 20th.

And no matter what kind of bad times I’m going through, I hope today I can be happy and feel that dreams can come true. I don’t know to which extent it is possible for me to put my negative emotions and worries in a box for one day, but this is for my own sake and nothing else.

Yesterday was a tough day. I worked from 10am till midnight. And I couldn’t eat because I felt nauseated about everything. I ended up eating at 11:30pm, when my mind went completely blank as I was doing my best to work with a smile. At that moment, the only thing that filled my mind was food so. I was relieved even just for a little while. Thank you.

I will pray.

Please leave a happy comment. Whoever you are. It would make me happier than have views and no one saying anything…. -_-

全日本アニソングランプリ！

July 6, 2008 in Uncategorized | 6 comments

Hello!!!

I just woke up and I’m so tired!!

Mizuki Nana is having a concert this weekend so close to where I live………..
And I can’t go because I’m having financial issues. T_T
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I think she has an amazing voice. And I love her stage presence.
I really hope I can go see her someday. And meet her. XD

I had started a new job but things didn’t work out so well….
So I’m job hunting again!
To be honest, I’m so worried about money.
I know that things don’t make sense right now and I won’t have enough, but I want to believe in miracles just this once in my life.
Somehow, I want to believe things will work out.

I’m sorry that I can’t talk about my friday meeting.
If it comes to something, I will definitely announce it though!!!

But….I had a good news yesterday.
I auditionned for a contest a few months ago.
And I got selected!!!!
It’s the Animax Grandprix.
So it’s an anime song contest.
It’s countrywide and there are 5 different cities where you can go to participate.
Then the finalists of each city will perform again later against one another to decide the winner.
At this point, I’m not thinking very far, I just really really want to go sing on stage again.
I think it will be good practice because I haven’t done it in 2 years.
It will bring back my motivation to want to be a singer, for sure!
I always get motivated the most when I know I have to prepare singing for an event. :)

And it will be entertaining to see all the people in costumes…hehe. I think it will be fun!

Oh yeah!
My birthday is coming up soon. On the 20th!
I don’t have money so I won’t be able to do much, but I’m crossing my fingers about going to see fireworks on the 26th, hopefully. I love fireworks!!!! And it seems like the ones in Japan are amazing!!! I wish I could get myself a yukata. *sniff*

So that’s my little (long) update for now! :D
Stay tuned!!! <3

-HIMEKA

 

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