It poured rain today in Kagoshima....

and I explained to Ceilidh that perhaps God was mirroring our feelings today with the weather.

Hideki passed away on Tuesday evening at 8:48 PM with me sitting by his side. He had been having a difficult time with his breathing since being admitted for his stroke and I had just met with his Dr who had told me that there was nothing else they could do for him. I went back to his room and sat with him and told him about all the messages, emails and phone calls I have been receiving sending him love, hugs and the sentiments of what a wonderful father and husband he is....I told him that everyone is saying they will support us...that my brother had arrived and should be at the hospital soon....and finally, that it was OK to let go...to find peace and not suffer anymore and that I, we, would be OK. Then he slipped away. Heartbeat of over 120 slipped to nothing in less than 5 minutes. Harry, my brother, had just arrived in the room, as did my sister.

The wake was last night and the funeral and cremation was today. Both services were attended by over 350 people. It was completely overwhelming...I am doing OK...comforted a little...a lot...by the fact that he is no longer in pain or distress. Children are also doing amazingly well.....

I have booked tickets for the children to return home to Canada with my sister next week on the 12th...then the 14th my brother leaves and I will be alone. I plan to try to be out of here by the end of the month...It has been a hellish year...and return home to Canada. I need to heal and have some time. To be honest, just don't know if I'll be OK when the children go....Why are they going? you may ask....I wonder too if it is OK....well, they are excited to go to Canada and be with their cousins and all the family we are so close to...deciding to go back home, timing is important and the kids would be due to start a new school year the first week of September. I think that they will do better with the big change if they *start* school with their peers than if they start a few weeks later than everyone else. Also I have many many things to do here now...stuff I have no idea about ...so if I can't give them a 100% right now...I want them to be with people who will.

Anyway...my heart is broken, the world has lost an amazing man and I wanted to let you know. Wish me lots of luck and send me "stay strong" vibes....It'll probably be a good month before things will settle down enough for me to really process this....

HUGS to all

Prayers for some peace

Hideki has had a massive stroke. It is a matter of days. This is the only way I can think of to let everyone know what has happened without direct communication which I am just not up to at the moment. Sorry...I can't say anything more...but I will relay all your prayers and hugs and love to Hideki every moment I am with him.

{{{HUGS}}}