Uh, free oral sex?

[mad pierrot]

Angel of mercy gives
homeless men a hand

By Masuo Kamiyama
Contributing Writer
October 25, 2004


You're a homeless man in Nagoya camped out in the park adjacent to Nagoya Castle or one of the several public areas where dozens of vagrants have erected makeshift abodes made of blue plastic tarpaulins.
Having been down on your luck for so long, sex, if on your mind at all, is probably little more than a distant memory. And since it's been days, sometimes even months since your last bath, the prospect of finding female companionship is likely to be all the more remote.
Certainly the last thing you'd ever expect would be to be awakened from a sound sleep by an attractive young female who has slipped into your shelter, opened the fly of your pants, and begun to provide relief in the form of hand jobs, or oral sex.
Yet, increasing numbers of homeless men in Nagoya's parks swear this has happened to them. Did these pleasurable experiences actually occur? Or was it merely something emanating out of the fog of alcohol-induced stupor?


Read the whole story HERE. (http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/waiwai/0410/1025angel.html)

Even if it's an urban myth this is the funniest thing I've read all month. I wonder if there will be an increase in "homeless" people?!

:D

[fixelbrumpf]

Good for 'em. Perhaps whoever did this has a bum fetish. :D

[Mike Cash]

WARNING: GROSS STORY FOLLOWS

Reminds me of the story of a homeless man found dead in his shelter near the Sumida River a few years ago. He wasn't discovered for a few days. Since he was homeless and unemployed, it took a while for anyone to miss him. And since he lived in an area with lots of those little blue shelters, it took a few days for the unique odor of rotting human flesh to rise above the other various smells.

When he was found, he was naked from the waist down and there was extensive damage to his groin. A large amount of flesh was missing from that area. Just gone. Disappeared.

Police suspected that he had been murdered by a pervert who had mutilated the body, removing the genitals and some of the surrounding flesh. Since such a psychopath could reasonably be expected to commit a similar crime again, they feared they might be looking at the first efforts of a potential serial killer. Naturally, they didn't look forward to either the crimes, the publicity that would surround them, or the huge investigative effort that they would have to mount.

Fortunately for them, the pervert was soon identified.

The pervert was the victim himself.

It seems there were lots of stray cats in the area. With the resourcefulness many unfortunate homeless souls display in their struggle to stay alive, he had learned to put the stray cats to use. He ate canned tuna and smeared the leftover oil on his John Thomas to entice the cats to give him a tongue job.

The last time he did it, though, he had a heart attack and died. It wasn't long before the cats decided he would make a good source of meat protein. From habit and from the smell of the tuna oil, they concentrated their efforts in his groin area. They managed to eat away a pretty good bit before the man was discovered.

[RockLee]

OMFG....talking about bad luck...first being homeless and then catfood(because of his own stupidity)...some ppl I tell ya!! :mad:


In the hope of duplicating the experience he's planning a return Nagoya this autumn.These pervs to everything to get a free BJ I tell ya

:D

[kirei_na_me]

That truly is a gross story, mikecash... :eek:

[EscaFlowne]

:souka: :souka:
Well, that has shaken me to the core....ummmm...yea i've been scarred in the worst way...and all for some "HEad" yeeesh....I hope it was just awesome! and by cats :relief: .....Have you guys ever had a cat lick you :? Wait wait...not like that you nasty people! i'm talking like your face or hand....thier tongues aren't soft.... i hope miss apollo doesen't read this thread.....she wont ever be right again........ :relief:

[PaulTB]

:souka: :souka:
Well, that has shaken me to the core....ummmm...yea i've been scarred in the worst way...and all for some "HEad" yeeesh....I hope it was just awesome! and by cats :relief: .....Have you guys ever had a cat lick you :? Wait wait...not like that you nasty people! i'm talking like your face or hand....thier tongues aren't soft.... i hope miss apollo doesen't read this thread.....she wont ever be right again........ :relief:
All those thinking of an alternative universe Ranma 1/2 plot - go take a cold shower. :p

[okaeri_man]

I wonder if there will be an increase in "homeless" people?!
there's never been a better time to be homeless it seems...

[mad pierrot]

Mike, I will never sleep naked near a cat for the rest of my life, thank you.

:-)

Good story. I think I'm going to go cry now.

[Ewok85]

Reminds me why i swerve towards, not away, from cats while out on the road :souka:

Sounds like an urban myth, funny none the less

[Mike Cash]

Reminds me why i swerve towards, not away, from cats while out on the road :souka:

Sounds like an urban myth, funny none the less

I would tend to discount it as an urban myth myself if I hadn't encountered it while reading a book by Dr. Masahiko Ueno, who for many years was the chief medical examiner (coroner) for Metro Tokyo.

[Nothingness]

:souka: wow... :souka:

That is crazy... :souka:

[alfiegal]

geeeez...a definite candidate for low-budget gross-out film project!
thanks mikecash.

[Pacifica1984]

hahaha :D

Umm ya lol....that's pretty much it....

Hilarious is all I can add to it

[Knives]

WARNING: GROSS STORY FOLLOWS

Reminds me of the story of a homeless man found dead in his shelter near the Sumida River a few years ago. He wasn't discovered for a few days. Since he was homeless and unemployed, it took a while for anyone to miss him. And since he lived in an area with lots of those little blue shelters, it took a few days for the unique odor of rotting human flesh to rise above the other various smells.

When he was found, he was naked from the waist down and there was extensive damage to his groin. A large amount of flesh was missing from that area. Just gone. Disappeared.

Police suspected that he had been murdered by a pervert who had mutilated the body, removing the genitals and some of the surrounding flesh. Since such a psychopath could reasonably be expected to commit a similar crime again, they feared they might be looking at the first efforts of a potential serial killer. Naturally, they didn't look forward to either the crimes, the publicity that would surround them, or the huge investigative effort that they would have to mount.

Fortunately for them, the pervert was soon identified.

The pervert was the victim himself.

It seems there were lots of stray cats in the area. With the resourcefulness many unfortunate homeless souls display in their struggle to stay alive, he had learned to put the stray cats to use. He ate canned tuna and smeared the leftover oil on his John Thomas to entice the cats to give him a tongue job.

The last time he did it, though, he had a heart attack and died. It wasn't long before the cats decided he would make a good source of meat protein. From habit and from the smell of the tuna oil, they concentrated their efforts in his groin area. They managed to eat away a pretty good bit before the man was discovered.
talk about irony lol i want to say poor guy but thats kinda gross..... lol i guess when in rome do as the romans do if they did that stuff lol

[Lina Inverse]

This story about the cats is pretty damn gross indeed :relief:

[Sally_Hawn]

I think Mikecash's story is an excellent script for a CAT MAN movie, horror or porno. Didn't Michelle Piffer get eaten by cats and become Cat Woman in the BAT MAN movie?

[Reiku]

Nah, they just nibbled a little... :D

[Brooker]

This has gotta be one of the stranger threads we've ever had. Maybe I'm just a sicko, but I thought that cat story was pretty funny (and gross). Bear in mind, that the guy was trying to :blush: entice the cats.

mad pierrot wrote...
Mike, I will never sleep naked near a cat for the rest of my life, thank you.

So as long as you're not sleeping naked with a crotch full of tuna oil you should be ok. :D :gohan: :gohan: :gohan:

[RockLee]

itadakimasu !!!!!!!! (just couldn't let it go xD) :blush:

[yimija]

This has gotta be one of the stranger threads we've ever had. Maybe I'm just a sicko, but I thought that cat story was pretty funny (and gross). Bear in mind, that the guy was trying to :blush: entice the cats.

mad pierrot wrote...


So as long as you're not sleeping naked with a crotch full of tuna oil you should be ok. :D :gohan: :gohan: :gohan:
listen to the wise man (mad pierrot), indeed.

yes funny stories all right, I needed to read that to get back into the real world !!!

BUT....

what mad pierot dont say is the reason why all this happened, because he did not give you the following part of the article :

"Apparently some women are so turned on by male pheromones, they won't accept anything less than a full concentration, unadulterated by soap and water. Or perhaps they're fetishists for dirt, grime and ordure.
"

Are we really like that ? Of course pheromones (and NOT ONLY MALE'S) are of the utmost importance in a sexual relation !

but to this extent....

love you all !

[Utsuki]

Umm... I don't think cats can be so aggressive by eating a man's part...
Anyway the story is indeed gross!!

[sabro]

I have four cats in my house and I can't look at them right now. (Maybe they were getting him back for neutering them.)

[cicatriz esp]

mike's cat story

No post has ever been so deserving of good rep!

[Kamisama]

i had a nightmare kittens attacked me today... but i wasn't naked.. -sighs in relief- the kittens could also talk.. weird ..

[Lina Inverse]

i had a nightmare kittens attacked me today... but i wasn't naked.. -sighs in relief- the kittens could also talk.. weird ..
Were the kittens naked? Or were they wearing boots and hats?

[yimija]

Were the kittens naked? Or were they wearing boots and hats?
hi...
I can see that you are keeping in good shape !!
they probably were swimming kittens, with shark's teeth and pyjamas, as usual.

:D

[ferrariboy]

That's pretty cool stuff... Gotta tell my friend from Nagoya... haha.
But when I was in Japan, Shinjuku had their share of bums, it was more of a fascination for me in terms of the reality of Japan. All you see is the hype of technology, the power and the money. But one nevers sees the other side. Its the same in other countries... oh well. Nice story though.

[Lina Inverse]

hi...
I can see that you are keeping in good shape !!
they probably were swimming kittens, with shark's teeth and pyjamas, as usual.

:D
Probably they also had lots of tentacles :D
Good to see you back, yimiya. Planning to stay longer this time?

[yimija]

Probably they also had lots of tentacles :D
Good to see you back, yimiya. Planning to stay longer this time?
hi, you ! yes... and no..
I'll be leaving on 15th, but only for a short period, then I should be around until beginning of next year... but then things change all the time.

[Winter]

On the topic of mike's feline tale; for years the underscore phrase of a female and her 'peanut butter' has been out there, so for the male counterpart its a guy and his 'tuna', ne?

Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

[EscaFlowne]

I thought it was a females "milkshake" and males "spreadable cream" :?

[Master X]

I dont wanna picture that... especially that song from kelis -_-

[Mike Cash]

On the topic of mike's feline tale; for years the underscore phrase of a female and her 'peanut butter' has been out there, so for the male counterpart its a guy and his 'tuna', ne?

Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

With a guy, you could be talking about "maguro onna" (bonus points if you know that bit of slang). With the gals, in Japan it's more commonly just plain old butter (or margarine), as in バター犬

[celtician]

Lovely double urban myths being given a "favour" by some local do gooder and then being gobbled by ......too horrible to think about.

[alBiNo_effEct]

Proves that cats will eat almost anything...That they find edible. :okashii: Either homeless people have been taken hallucinogens or some ppl out there are really messed up.

[Mitsuo]

Here's an even more gross story than Mike Cashs
Warning: It's sick
Okay, I heard this from a fellow employee at my work.
There is this girl that out of nowhere had a scratchy throat. She tried everything to get rid of it. So, she tried drinking water, salt water, and even swallowed some mouth wash. Nothing worked, not even eating got rid of this scratchy tickle in her throat. SO she went to the doctor expecting the "You have strep throat" But the doctor didn't say that at all. He asks "have you had any oral sex lately?" She said "yes, with my boyfriend", he said, "Well, what you have in your throat are gnats", She asked how that could be, and he said, "well, the only way for this to happen is if the person you gave oral sex to had sex with an animal, or had sex with a dead person."
Guess what....
Her boyfriend worked at a morgue!
Ok, I am leaning toward made up story on that one.... but if it is real, then dahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! *shivers* and even if that happened, why would nats go into her throat? I don't know it's sick though.
aaggguhghggughg!!!!!

[Mars Man]

A little surprized at the age of the thread that was pulled out, but then again, perhaps better than having started a new one again.

Might that be 'gnats'? If so, I'd say its a totally made up story; scientifically (medically) impossible. The cat story may be true--there was an article in the Daily Yomiuri newspaper this past Fall about a bed-ridden lady's toes being partially gone, and as it turned out, the suspect was a cat that must have come in the open window, leaving some bloody paw prints on the way out. BUT...the moral of the story, be kind to cats and they'll be kind to you. heee,heee......

[Mitsuo]

Yeah, gnats, and I completely agree with you on all of that Mars Man!

[Gaijinian]

the story
I have heard this story before, unless it is the same person, it seems to be a myth...

[Mitsuo]

Oh, ok then, it must be. If it's all around the country then it's a myth. Mars Man also said that it's impossible too so. Which I agree with.

Someone must have really bored to come up with that

[SneffeL]

After reading all these, I am glad that I didnt get a cat as pet :relief:

[Uzumaki]

Proves that cats will eat almost anything...That they find edible. :okashii: Either homeless people have been taken hallucinogens or some ppl out there are really messed up.


Im going to lean towards some people are just really messed up. Hallucinogens cost good money. Hmmm...or possibly thats why they are homeless.

On the other hand I was hungry before I read this thread. But now Im not.
Good diet reading.

[Carlson]

*off to nagoya i go

first hand is always best when learning about something

(no pun intended)

[Hide My Heart]

Yeah Ive noticed alot of these things available in the adul dvd section of my local video rental place. Not necissarily hobos but just random people off the street.

[vaizardichigo]

the first story was better... haha! but the second story gives a really good moral lesson.. :D

[mika_r]

lol, they are both funny story! but the first one is the funniest XDDD

[Duo 9]

Something to add...if a human died in a house with their pet dog locked in, the dog would starve. If they had a pet cat, it would eat them. This has been proven when an old lady here in the states died and her cats ate most of her body(she was a creepy cat lady who lived alone and had lots of cats). has to do with dogs being loyal and cats being independent.

[taehyun]

No, dogs don't eat dead flesh, unless it is fresh one. Their teeth are made for harder meat.
The woman with the transplanted face-she was eaten by her dog while she was sleeping, after taking sleeping pills.

[taehyun]

Forgot to add:
They caught two men and a woman making adult video at EXPO 's Ferris wheel in Nagoya.
Something's wrong in Nagoya:okashii:
And that man who made cats to ....do such terrible thing!
I think he got what he deserved!!!:cool: :cool: :cool:

[beautastic]

No, dogs don't eat dead flesh, unless it is fresh one. Their teeth are made for harder meat.
The woman with the transplanted face-she was eaten by her dog while she was sleeping, after taking sleeping pills.
D: *shiver* That's so creepy to think about!!

[CplAaronClarkUSMC]

WARNING: GROSS STORY FOLLOWS
Reminds me of the story of a homeless man found dead in his shelter near the Sumida River a few years ago. He wasn't discovered for a few days. Since he was homeless and unemployed, it took a while for anyone to miss him. And since he lived in an area with lots of those little blue shelters, it took a few days for the unique odor of rotting human flesh to rise above the other various smells.
When he was found, he was naked from the waist down and there was extensive damage to his groin. A large amount of flesh was missing from that area. Just gone. Disappeared.
Police suspected that he had been murdered by a pervert who had mutilated the body, removing the genitals and some of the surrounding flesh. Since such a psychopath could reasonably be expected to commit a similar crime again, they feared they might be looking at the first efforts of a potential serial killer. Naturally, they didn't look forward to either the crimes, the publicity that would surround them, or the huge investigative effort that they would have to mount.
Fortunately for them, the pervert was soon identified.
The pervert was the victim himself.
It seems there were lots of stray cats in the area. With the resourcefulness many unfortunate homeless souls display in their struggle to stay alive, he had learned to put the stray cats to use. He ate canned tuna and smeared the leftover oil on his John Thomas to entice the cats to give him a tongue job.
The last time he did it, though, he had a heart attack and died. It wasn't long before the cats decided he would make a good source of meat protein. From habit and from the smell of the tuna oil, they concentrated their efforts in his groin area. They managed to eat away a pretty good bit before the man was discovered.
Now that is sick. But that still is not as bad as the baby sitter stories where they get a man to use his "manhood" instead of a pacifier to feed the baby girl milk, offering instead his own "nutrients". Now this was way too much, and if it is just to a stray cat, I figure it is just the man's own business, performing a victimless crime.

[gruntyking117]

WARNING: GROSS STORY FOLLOWS
Reminds me of the story of a homeless man found dead in his shelter near the Sumida River a few years ago. He wasn't discovered for a few days. Since he was homeless and unemployed, it took a while for anyone to miss him. And since he lived in an area with lots of those little blue shelters, it took a few days for the unique odor of rotting human flesh to rise above the other various smells.
When he was found, he was naked from the waist down and there was extensive damage to his groin. A large amount of flesh was missing from that area. Just gone. Disappeared.
Police suspected that he had been murdered by a pervert who had mutilated the body, removing the genitals and some of the surrounding flesh. Since such a psychopath could reasonably be expected to commit a similar crime again, they feared they might be looking at the first efforts of a potential serial killer. Naturally, they didn't look forward to either the crimes, the publicity that would surround them, or the huge investigative effort that they would have to mount.
Fortunately for them, the pervert was soon identified.
The pervert was the victim himself.
It seems there were lots of stray cats in the area. With the resourcefulness many unfortunate homeless souls display in their struggle to stay alive, he had learned to put the stray cats to use. He ate canned tuna and smeared the leftover oil on his John Thomas to entice the cats to give him a tongue job.
The last time he did it, though, he had a heart attack and died. It wasn't long before the cats decided he would make a good source of meat protein. From habit and from the smell of the tuna oil, they concentrated their efforts in his groin area. They managed to eat away a pretty good bit before the man was discovered.The cat is not going to sleep in my room tonight.

[lover_of_all]

very very sick indeed but incredibly funny and distrubing innit

[Kuroyume]

well, i think the "cat man" was quite a perv. he should have gone to nagoya.^^:gohan: enjoy ^.-

[roninjapan]

No more TUNA for me..just in case any CAT comes near.:cool:

[Sparky]

Thanks for the nightmares. Thank god I have a dog!