| By Christopher James Beppo
A Ledger editor was recently overheard sighing, "maybe those letters to the editor are right--we're turning into a supermarket rag." Looking through the archives of this newspaper for the past few months, one would be hard-pressed to argue with that assessment: bizarre deer mutilation...a car-throwing teenager...dematerializing burglars...spirits in the woods...and now in the current issue, spontaneous human combustion (SHC).
Long a staple of credulous conspiracy worshippers, SHC is the supposed capability of the human body to ignite and burn completely from within. Going back to the 17th century, spontaneous combustion has often been relied upon to explain the inexplicable, such as burnt corpses found near unscathed furniture or rugs. This lasting mystery is often rationalized by what is known as the "wick effect." This theory postulates that the "wick effect," caused by burning fat, can bring about temperatures high enough to destroy even bones, and the heat would be retained by the body, thus leaving surrounding materials undamaged.
Anecdotal evidence abounds, like the story of a Florida widow, Mary Reeser, who was reduced to a pile of ashes with a slippered foot sticking out of it in 1951. There's
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the more contemporary case of Joyce Maslow, a college student in Elizabeth, New Jersey, who reportedly burst into flames while dancing in a club (the temptation is too strong to speculate about the particular song ["Hot hot hot"?] which ignited the unfortunate Ms. Maslow).
Par for the course in this town, Smallville has lately become the host of no less than three potential instances of SHC, as outlined in the accompanying Ledger article. The regrettable truth remains, however, that no one in Smallville--or anywhere in the world, for that matter--has actually recorded a human combustion that couldn't be explained otherwise. Going to bed with a lit cigarette, standing near flying sparks, falling into the hearth in a drunken stupor--any of those events would be more believable than melting from within with no provocation, given the incredibly high temperatures that would be necessary to incinerate human bone.
Scientists who have studied the phenomenon have failed to lend any credence to the SHC theorists' claims. Perhaps one of Smallville's brilliant minds, Sheriff Waid or Dr. Steven Hamilton, can be the first to provide incontrovertible proof. Until then, we'll have to rely on more mundane explanations and leave the speculation to our rivals at the checkout counter.
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