Im in my apartment, alone, waiting for some college papers that needs to be finished in a day or so. Im also alone in life, my father is not worth my attention no matter how hard i tried. My mother and 1 friend is now all i have.

The truth is, humans are garbage in atleast 95% or more cases. This isnt dissapointed or frustrated me, this is digestive system job done, red pill 100% consumed, brain receptors got message and conclusion came based on that plus experience being alive more then 20 years.

My whole youth i was nice kid, no police problems, helping others, sharing nice clothes, money, games, everything. I had many friends but they left, one by one, for stupid reasons. They somehow changed and became idiots. Even their parents are aware of that. My last gf is gone after 3 years also, only imbecil would leave our relationship. I even wanted to take all the blame for everybody leaving, so i started thinking. After days of thinking and being harsh on myself, im apsolute sure that there is none major blame on me.

Being nice and helping others is a mistake. I can understand Schopenhauer, Bukowski, Tesla....as if we are same breed. They were lucky to live in society without social network shit and stupidity was hidden more. I feel like i dont own anything to anyone anymore. I will never hurt innocent, but i wont even help them. Who is helping me?

The only thing human being can do to you in long term is betrayal. Solitude is gift. Its painful reality but it is only truth. Everything else is a lie. I trust only myself even if i become delusional.