So, as the Thanksgiving holiday approaches here in the US, I take time to think about all of the things I have to be thankful for -- and it's a lot:
-I'm healthy;
-I have a beautiful wife and two spectacular little boys;
-I have a great job that pays me WAY more than it should, and I don't even have to work that hard;
-I'm a recognized expert in my professional field, so I have lots of career potential;
-I have a great network of friends;
-I live in a wonderful house in a perfect town with great schools; and
-The list honestly goes on...
Even with all that, I'm still discontent. Scratching below the service reveals some structural rot that may take everything down:
-At my job, my boss is a peer who I don't respect, and it crushes me that I have to report to her;
-I was one of the few in our department moved from an office to a cubicle -- that's a tough adjustment and it bums me out every morning I pass my colleagues in their offices on the way to my cube;
-Even though I feel like I have career potential, I feel stuck and dont see any opportunities to grow;
-My wife offers nothing by way of support for me; she's entirely focused on the kids and the other moms in the community;
-She also has an anxiety disorder that manifests itself as OCD, and she's almost always anxious now -- I now expect to yelled at about something every day;
-I am constantly helping out around the house, but it's never appreciated or good enough;
-My wife is busy (and stressed) all the time, but she never gets anything done; I've hired maids and someone to come once a week to do laundry so we have clean clothes;
-My home life is basically feeding the kids and cleaning/maintaining our home -- I have no idea where people find the time to watch a football game or do anything for themselves;
-My wife and I haven't been intimate in 18 months -- and she doesn't care; and
-Even though I have great friends, I never have time to see them, and I can't invite them over without creating more stress for my wife (see above).
Reading this again, maybe this would be better posted in /r/relationships, but it feels bigger than that to me: with all the things I have to be thankful for, I should just be able to suck it up and be happy. And almost everyone thinks I am. But I confess that I'm not -- even if I should be.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone (even those of you outside the US).
[EDITED: Fomatting]
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