like.. WTF?!?!?! how could you be so fine being MGTOW.. I just don't get it!!!

Last few months I have time when I am like you - fuck off girls and everything seems good on the paper like

-no problems with girls

-more money

-more free time

but then I go out and see fucking hot skinny girls (I am from eastern europe so no american genetic shit but porn actors or 7/10 median women and more..) and I feel like big piece of shit to hide in MGTOW..

like .. Am I really MTGOW? FUCK NO!! If that hot girl gives me IOI and wanna fuck, I would be like in heaven..

..so I feel like I am just coping with my situation using hobbies and thinking with mgtow lines BUT deep down inside me I feel that it is just a bullshit and I really wanna fuck some hot piece of meat..

I don't wanna use escorts because sex without emotional connection seem very fake for me so.. I am fucked I ques..

How could you be so fine being mgtow??

Are you really sociopatical introverts needing no contacts with women at all?

Are you ex-chads bored with women after fucking them for years?

I just don't know how to be "fine" especially when holiday season came and I have nobody to go travel - traveling alone sucks (tried it) and being with friends who having GFs sucks too..

I feel there is really some female - male dynamics and when you are single/alone, no fuck buddy, you just don't have necessary energy or I don't know..

so basically: I am NOT introvert, I am NOT so good looking, I wanna fuck hot young women and I feel like I am trying to believe what I don't believe that I don't need a women.. where the FUCK is problem?!?!?

also going home and no hot girl is there.. it sucks and I have no interest to do this life for more years just to make big ugly nose people up there more rich.. and fuck off dogs - don't have time to be slave for some animal..

maybe some of you can relate and give a good advice...