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how do you get on with life as a single man, seeing so many seemingly "happy" couples around you (self.MGTOW)

siyrk が 投稿

i was let down by my fiancée earlier this year who told me she didn't want to be with me, but I found out she was seeing another guy , it seems like no matter how great the girl is when you get with her or how close you two are to each other, that eventually you will always be let down or cheated on.

I thought it was just me and I kind of still do blame myself, if I was a better person she wouldn't have left me for someone else, damn even all my other exes who eventually ran off with someone else may have stayed with me.

I felt like there was clearly something very wrong with me so I went my own way as a single man,. I have been traveling a little, taken up the gym and sports daily, spend time on my own doing my own thing and I have a girl who I am seeing now and again although she isn't ltr material (kids)

at first it felt right but I'm finding it hard now and seem to see lots of happy couples around me, its starting to make me want a partner again but I'm worried because they always eventually let me down or leave for someone else.

my fiancee stayed with me nearly 8 years before running off which made it worse. I trusted her completely and never thought she would do this, how can I ever trust my judgement again?

its coming up to Christmas now and the feeling of sadness is pretty strong, any of you guys in the same boat/ have any advice?

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[–]FanofLemmy 10ポイント11ポイント  (1子コメント)

Remember that most people aren't happy in a relationship. Divorce rate is 50%, most times ending in the man getting screwed over. Every couple I know is miserable, constantly fighting, always on edge, dealing with garbage.

I have no interest in relationships. They are really far more work than anything. I'm much more content playing skyrim for a few hours a day than listening to some boring, narcissistic woman complain about everything who gets mad at solutions to very simple issues.

You have to ask yourself what you really want. Were you really happy in your relationship? Do you think you could trust another woman? How do you feel knowing she left you for someone else, because it won't be just this one, it's always happening.

[–]tribalbandit 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is it right here. Most men play along to stay out of the "dog house"

In the beginning the man stays quiet in the hopes of "getting lucky" that night but it will devolve over time for the man as a means to escape hearing the bitch go on one of her rants that they seem to have an unlimited supply of energy for. Just be quiet and she may leave you alone kind of thing.

[–]comptejete 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

my fiancee stayed with me nearly 8 years before running off which made it worse.

The way you phrased that makes it sound like she was doing you a favor, which could be the heart of the issue. Until you begin to see yourself as the prize then I doubt those feelings of sadness and loneliness are going away. You've recognized that there were some areas in your life that could have been improved and are working towards them, which is the way forward.

Also worth remembering in the interim that seeing a happy couple in public is a bit like social media - you're only seeing the highlight reel, what lies beneath might not be as pleasant.

[–]53x12 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

There is a great myth that everyone, amazingly, believes: that everyone else is happy, having fun, living life, and you, all alone, are miserable. That everyone is out there, having amazing glorious sex, while you must content yourself with pornos.

This isn’t true. Most people are in the exact same spot as you are. And those ‘glorious unions’ you see everywhere? Most of them are simply scared of being alone, so they go off and grab the nearest available person. The others are 'lying' together with vanity.

The big secret is that happy people aren’t as happy as they appear. Many happy people are actually covering up their real problems. But what do you do? You see one of these ‘happy’ people and then you get unhappy at them! You make yourselves miserable as you arrow nasty thoughts from your mind at them, and they don’t even know you.

You think, “It must be nice to be happy. They were born to the right parents, to the right environment. I wish I was like them. I wish I grew up where they did.”

You think, “I have all these great qualities about myself. Why can’t someone see it?” Well, no one sees it because they are too worried about themselves. Women are not ignoring you; they too are worried about themselves. When you go out with a foxy lady, she will be worried about how she acts, about how you think of her.

Life is meant to be lived, life is meant to be grabbed on to, life is meant to be defined by you. No one may define your life, not your parents, not people on the Internet, no one.

[–]Playstation_5 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

The definition of a happy couple is when the woman tolerates the man while believing she could do a lot better, while the guy puts up with endless shit just to access a hole once a week. What are you really missing out on?

[–]Helikzhan 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Just adaptation or having never experienced it in the first place. Our society trains boys to wed girls and to give their lives over to them. Love for a man is less about romance and more about duty and sacrifice. Your need for female validation is a result of being trained since birth to please women.

A few generations ago it was a bit easier because the world had such little to offer the average guy. Now with the modern age and all the lovely distractions a man can spend his entire life and then some being entertained. The woman is far less entertaining and far more demanding.

My rule therefore is simple. If my days are flying by then I know I'm happy. I'm doing what I want to do. I also never trust my emotions. The patriarchy despised emotions for a good reason. Turn off your emotions and use rationale to determine why you do what you do. It'll take your happiness much further.

[–]Happen_On_A_Ciggy 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Damn you really do see the addiction men have towards the other sex.

No offense to OP.. but you haven't been single a year and you are seeing another woman. Maybe you've been single for 6 months or less.. STOP ABUSING YOURSELF.

Bro take a year or 2 off or just quit the game all together. You are FUCKING A SINGLE MOTHER. WHO'S ONLY JOB IS TO PROVIDE FOR HER CHILD. She's gonna get you.

STOP FUCKIN WITH HER. GO MONK MODE.. YOU ARE ADDICTED TO WOMEN AND LOVE. THE SHIT IS NOT REAL. STOP LYING TO YOURSELF. DAMN!!

[–]5foot6withoutheels 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

The comparisons getting you down + hollywood pushing out stories which creates expectations and ideas of how you need to be.

You see couples and they appear happy but majority of people in the public setting are on their best behavior, once they get home and close the door...you've been there and seen how it is, there's some good but also lots of bad with nagging, shit testing, nagging and if you show too much weakness she'll eventually leave you so pain after investing so much time in them, is it worth it?

its happened to me to, you get to that point when you let your guard down, maybe even tell her you love her and for some reason many women see this as weakness and scurry off vs women who i've known had their boyfriends beat them up and were most loyal to these type of guys and needed family to intervene to stop them going back.

Not saying guys should do that, only pointing out the insanity working in women's heads staying loyal to the man who physically harms and dominates them, i guess it doesn't shown weakness in the womens brain which just shows how insane their rational thinking is.