You must remember this, a kiss is just not a kiss

By Ryann Connell
November 11, 2004

If a man really wants to display how deeply he feels for a woman, the best way is to pucker, Japan's foremost expert on the science behind love tells Nonno.

A single smooch should be all it takes for a woman to know she has met the man who'll change her destiny, the women's glossy claims.

"Kisses are actions that are all about exposing your weak points to somebody else. Like all animals, humans' weak points are all the orifices in their body -- the mouth, the nose, even the anus. Holes become the entrances for which bacteria can enter the body and can be a life-threatening weakness. Added to that, when you do something in an exaggerated manner, movement of the nerves concentrates around the body's orifices," says Naruhito Fujita, head of Love Science, a literal laboratory of love where studies are carried out to discover the science at work behind our passions. "Our mouths are the places where we eat and drink, so stimulating the mouth is a stimulation very close to satisfying instinctive desires. That's why kisses feel so pleasurable."

Fujita says that kisses can literally make a woman feel as though she has fallen under an enchantment.

"By presenting somebody else your mouth with a kiss, thus displaying your weak points, you're giving off a sign that you are also submitting your body to them. When women kiss, they also have long-term ideas such as marriage and pregnancy in mind, so compared to men they place a lot more worth on the action," Fujita, author of such books as "The Science of Sex," tells Nonno. "Expectations and dreams can make women smitten by somebody they've never even met just by imagining kissing them in a romantic setting. If they actually ever kiss somebody in settings they have dreamed of, they get the feeling that the person they have kissed will actually change their destiny."

Men, on the other hand, don't get nearly as much out of a kiss as women. In fact, rather than pucker, they're generally looking to do something considerably more advanced, even if it does rhyme.

"Only women can feel as though they've been cast under a spell after kissing. For men, the kiss is simply one process leading to sex. They take the kiss as a sign of the woman's arousal, kiss her deeper and begin aiming for sex," the doctor says.

Fujita says the biggest problem facing women looking for life-changing pecks will be whether her partner is thinking along the same lines.

"You often hear talk of 'good kissers' and 'bad kissers,' but actually kissing has got absolutely nothing to do with technique. A kiss that goes along with what a woman is feeling is a good kiss.

Suddenly shoving the tongue down the throat when a woman doesn't want that is not likely to make the kiss a life-changing one, nor one that will leave a woman feeling her destiny will be shaped by the kisser, or enchanted," Fujita tells Nonno. "First, there should be an embrace. As you hold each other strongly and extract warmth from each other's body temperature, the cheeks should draw closer together before finally a small peck is placed on either the cheek or forehead. Things should become gradually more passionate with each date. If a guy kisses like that, it will be proof that the man truly regards the woman as important."

Copyright 1999-2004, Mainchi Daily.  All rights reserved.  Ryann Connell is a Staff Writer and Senoir Desk Editor for the Mainchi Daily News. No content may be reproduced in whole or part without written permission.  Please contact us via the link below for re-print and syndication policies.