Big, chunky ass

Just for a change of pace.

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No butts about it, saggy buttocks indicate poor health

"If he's got a big, chunky ass, there's no doubt he's gonna be a good player. All our scouts go around using butts as a reference for potential picks," Shinsaku Katadaira, head of the recruiting staff of the Pacific League's Seibu Lions baseball franchise tells Sunday Mainichi (11/27).

Rather than making asses of themselves, Katadaira and his team may be on to something with Seibu's cheeky "bottoms up" recruiting policy as the team has been a powerhouse for decades. Plenty of experts are also ready to butt in on the bunfight with their arguments that a tight tush is a surefire guarantee of success in life for any man.

"Taking a look at a guy's buttocks is the best way to see if he is truly a good-looking man," says Yumi Ishihara, head of Tokyo's Ishihara Clinic, author of "Otoko no Shiri de Asobi Nasai (Play With Men's Bottoms Please)" and Japan's undisputed preeminent scholar of male butts.

Ishihara says muscles are the key to a successful bottom. Viewed from the side, the ideal caboose should be made up with muscles so taut they make the bottom appear to be raised above the hips. Muscular thighs are also vital. Dimpled derrieres, podgy posteriors and fat or flabby fannies are flops.

"It doesn't matter whether a guy is tall or short, hairy or bald. All he ever needs is well-developed thighs and buttocks," Ishihara tells Sunday Mainichi.

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I'll be back with some of the REALNESS shortly.