Peekaboo! Hide-and-seek fans want game included in the Olympics

Last weekend, Mikata, a sleepy hot spring resort town of 7,000 in Hyogo Prefecture, held the world's oldest Hide and Seek Championship.

"We thought that by getting the whole town involved in a game of hide and seek, we could get tourists to come here and get a close look at what we've got to offer while they searched for the people who were hidden away. It was an event designed to get people to know about our hot spring areas," a spokesman from the Mikata Municipal Government tourism section. "The rules have 100 townspeople hide and the tourists get points for finding them. Points are also awarded for degree of difficulty decided by the hiding spot. Winners up until now have won prizes like overseas trips."

Since holding the inaugural hide and seek championship in October 2000, organizers have been plagued by an unexpected problem.

"Groups of university students calling themselves 'hide-and-seek alumni' have joined in and an event that was supposed to let tourists take a leisurely stroll around the town has suddenly become a sport where competition is intense," a municipal government source says. "The students come here every year and take a win-at-any-cost approach to finding the hiding spots. Tourists coming to look around the town haven't got a chance."

Parents of young children who travel to Mikata for the event have complained bitterly about the students' serious approach to hide and seek, calling them immature and accusing them of spoiling the fun for little kids. But the protests have fallen on deaf ears.

"We know we're being immature, but we see ourselves as professional hide and seekers. As professional hide and seekers, we can't be expected to lose," the head of the hide-and-seek club at posh Waseda University.

Doshisha University's hide and seek club boss concurs: "I don't know whether organizers are concerned about us, or what, but they've started changing the rules, like saying you're only allowed to find one hidden person each, or using a lottery to decide who wins. We want to search around the town as much as possible, but these rules only spoil things."

To counter the clash, town officials came up with the All-Japan Student Versus Adult Hide and Seek Championship held on a wild strip of land dotted with hiding spots in a secluded part of Mikata. It was a roaring success, luring 12 entrants, including the victorious Waseda University Hide and Seek Alumni Association, an organization celebrating its fifth year in existence.

"We have made this group an alumni association so that graduates can take part, too. We currently have 150 members," the club's chairman says. "I had to laugh the day we practiced in a department store. We were looking here, there and everywhere to find people inside the store when suddenly an announcement came over the loudspeaker system warning shoppers to be aware for the group of pickpockets believed to be active there that day. It was us." Mikata officials were delighted.

"It's our dream to have hide and seek included as an Olympic sport, probably in the Olympiad after the Games following Beijing. Our town has already set up the Japan Hide and Seek Association."

Entire bridge stolen in Southern Bosnia

SARAJEVO, Bosnia-Herzegovina - In what could qualify for Ripley's Believe It or Not, seven thieves stole an entire 13-yard bridge near the southern Bosnian town of Mostar, police said Friday.

Over several days, the group dismantled the metal bridge built during the Austro-Hungarian empire 150 years ago, transported the parts to a local junk yard and sold them, a police statement said.

While it all happened in a remote mountainous region, local villagers saw the thieves loading parts of the bridge into vans and alerted police last Friday. The seven men were arrested and are being held pending a decision by a prosecutor. Without disclosing their names, police said the Gypsies, or Roma, sold the metal parts for $170.

Cod labeled air traffic hazard

Norway's Civil Aviation Administration Avinor has accused cod (fish) of threatening flight safety in Svolvær.

Avinor, which owns Svolvær Airport, wants no part of plans to have live cod in enclosures in the vicinity of the runway. "The probability of a collision between planes and sea birds will increase dramatically," Avinor said at a hearing. Avinor's airport chief at Svolvær, Bjørn Opsahl, believes the cod will be a temptation for birds, and that feeding the fish would also attract the birds in numbers.

Local businesses had hoped to cooperate by putting live Lofoten cod in enclosures in order to increase profitability by being able to deliver fresh cod all year round.

"It sounds a bit strange that gulls and other sea birds are going eat such big fish," said Ole Osland at L. Berg Sønner.

Election Day moved to yesterday due to terror concerns

Official: Precinct voting locations, dates, times had to be kept secret for citizens' safety

Washington — The U.S. Presidential election originally scheduled for November 2 of this year was moved to yesterday, and preliminary results show a decisive reelection victory for George W. Bush. The Federal Election Commission said that the threat of a major terrorist attack forced the rescheduling, which was so abrupt that the government had no time to inform citizens of the change.

Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security Tom Ridge said that the threat of terror would not affect the outcome of a major election. "No terror threat will ever be allowed to stop Americans from exercising their right to choose President Bush to continue to be their president," said Secretary Ridge.

Officials credit the government's total secrecy regarding polling locations and the date and times they would be open with the success of avoiding a major attack. "Al Qaeda would have loved to get some of that information, but we wisely kept it out of their reach," said a Homeland Security official.

President Bush spoke to the nation after the low number of votes were counted by the handful of precinct who actually received votes. "The terrorists have lost again," the President declared. "The winners are the American people who somehow found themselves in a polling location sometime between two o'clock and two-thirty this morning by some random act of God and were able to participate in the democratic process."

Local Sheriff Suspects Al-Qaeda or Teens

BARABOO, WI—Sauk County Sheriff Virgil "Butch" Steinhorst announced Tuesday that he believes a recent rash of Baraboo-area crimes was perpetrated by the al-Qaeda terrorist network or teenagers.

"In this day and age, it's important for law-enforcement officials to consider global threats as well as local ones," Steinhorst said. "We could be dealing with an al-Qaeda sleeper cell attempting to collect information that they could use to plan a terrorist strike or some of those goth kids who knocked over that mailbox. Neither group has any respect for the law."

The string of unsolved crimes includes the defacement of public property, an incident of breaking-and-entering, and a string of harassing phone calls. The latest crime—the sudden disappearance of two yield signs from Hoxie Street—occurred Monday."We believe the yield signs were removed in order to disrupt traffic patterns, most likely to cause an accident," Steinhorst said.

"The party responsible for the crime could be anyone from suspected terrorist Ahmad Ibrahim Al-Mughassil, who is on the FBI's most-wanted list, to that Fairman kid and his buddies. It could be the work of one or the other. Possibly both, though I have to say I doubt that."

Republicans Outraged By Inaccuracies In Metallica Documentary

WASHINGTON, DC—Republican congressmen lambasted the documentary Metallica: Some Kind Of Monster for its "gross inaccuracies and fabrications" Monday. "[Filmmakers] Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky are clearly biased," Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert said.

"By editing together concert footage from three different mediocre shows, they have given the general public a false impression that Metallica still kicks ass." Hastert added that there is no hard evidence to support the film's argument that the album St. Anger has more thrashing riffs than Kill 'Em All.

Bless you Julia Child

I loved her. She inspired me to learn to cook. She will be truly missed.

Top Ten Signs Athens Isn't Ready For The Olympics

10. Organizers lobbying for new event: Yelling at contractor to hurry the hell up
9. Committee still hasn't selected really gay theme for opening ceremonies
8. Makeshift olympic symbol made of five interlocking poppy seed bagels
7. Yesterday, Athens' mayor said, "Wait, we're hosting the Olympics?"
6. Thanks to mailroom blunder, all the steroids were shipped to crete
5. Builders brought only one hammer and a box of wood screws
4. Olympic visitors center to be ready in early 2006
3. The athletes have to share a gyro
2. All the "Greece" signs have a photo of John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John
1. "Olympic Stadium" just a bunch of lawn chairs in an Applebee's parking lot

Breastfeeding Moms Hold 'Nurse-In' at Starbucks

SEATTLE (Reuters) - More than two dozen mothers staged a breastfeeding "nurse-in" at a Starbucks Corp. store in Maryland over the weekend in an effort to get the world's largest coffee shop chain to adopt a policy allowing breastfeeding in all its U.S. stores.

Lorig Charkoudian, who organized the event, said on Tuesday that she began her quest a month ago when she was nursing her 15-month-old daughter at the store in Silver Spring, Maryland, and was asked by a Starbucks employee to cover up with a blanket or breastfeed in the bathroom.

She protested and, after eventually reaching the regional vice president, got Seattle-based Starbucks to recognize a Maryland law that allows mothers to breastfeed their children in public. Starbucks spokeswoman Audrey Lincoff said in a statement that the coffee chain "quickly apologized for her negative experience" and reminded employees at its Maryland stores to comply with the law.

.. a little cream for your coffee?

Drunk Driver Asks Police to Arrest Him

VERNON, Vt. - It's not too often that the police get pulled over by a drunk driver. But that's what happened recently to Police Chief Ian McCollin. McCollin was heading south on Route 142 when he noticed a driver at the Broad Brook Road stop sign, slowly edging forward into the intersection. As he passed the car, McCollin saw a confused look on the motorist's face." I figured it might be somebody looking for help, possibly lost or something," he said. When McCollin pulled his cruiser to the shoulder, the man pulled alongside, rolled down his passenger-side window and made an astonishing proclamation: He was looking for a police officer to arrest him because he was drunk.

...I guess he couldnt find an AA meeting!

Attack of the Short Stuff

A police sniffer dog has died of a suspected overdose while hunting for drugs, British police said. The springer spaniel showed symptoms of amphetamine use and died soon after the search.

The Italian town of Monza has banned people from keeping goldfish in bowls. A council official said fish get a "distorted view of reality" if kept in a bowl instead of a filtered, rectangular tank.

A British man who accidentally shot himself in the testicles after drinking 15 pints of beer has been jailed for five years for possessing an illegal firearm. The man had intended to shoot a friend.

An attempt to set a world record for group fire-walking in Dunedin and raise money for the ambulance service backfired when the cost of treating 28 people for burns exceeded the donations.

Thailand's army is offering a free pilgrimage to Mecca for anyone who helps secure the return of more than 300 assault rifles stolen by suspected Muslim extremists.

Czech composer Vaclav Halek has composed more than 2000 melodies which, he says, come directly from mushrooms. "I record music that mushrooms sing to me," he says. (eating too many of them?)

US scientists have developed a dried food ration that soldiers can hydrate by adding dirty water or urine. The chicken and rice meal comes with a filter that removes 99.9 per cent of bacteria and most toxic chemicals. (how’s your dinner? It tastes like piss!)

A man lit a cigarette while sitting on a portable toilet - and blew it up. The explosion, in Blacksville, West Virginia, resulted from a build-up of methane gas, officials said. The man was not badly hurt. (yea, and he wont need that operation for hemmoroids now)

Teen Gives Up Smoking Pot After Seeing Parents High

DEDHAM, MA—Elyssa Schuster, 16, swore Monday that she will never again experiment with marijuana after coming home to "obviously baked" parents Harold and Judy Saturday night. "I used to think smoking pot made you look cool, but, boy, was I wrong," Schuster said.

"Dad got all paranoid about the mortgage rate while Mom spent an hour giggling about how dusty the ceiling fan was. It was so sad and depressing." Schuster said she was thankful to be scared straight before she made a fool of herself again.

Eisner and Hippos

When Michael Eisner , Walt Disney CEO. showed up at that particular cafeteria in a pitiful attempt to rub elbows with the masses, he only really succeeded in proving how out-of-touch he is and how little about the Parks he actually knows.

As the cafeteria took notice of Eisner's arrival, which was hard to miss due to the big entourage accompanying him, Eisner put forth his best political skills and tried to make friends. He marched right up to two college aged guys wearing Adventureland costumes waiting for their cheeseburgers and said "Hi fellas, where do you guys work?"

The two Cast Members dutifully replied "We work at the Jungle Cruise, sir." Eisner broke into a broad and forced smile and said "Hey, that must be a lot of fun! I'd love to be able to drive that boat around all day, making those jokes and shooting at the hippo's like you do!"

And without missing a beat, one of the Jungle Cruise Skippers said "We don't get to shoot at the hippo's anymore sir. They took the guns away three years ago." Eisner could only stammer, "Oh, they did? I didn't know that..." before he moved on down the line for the next forced smile and handshake.