Japan's Bakademy Awards: Booby prizes for stupid smut

By Ryann Connell
March 6, 2005

Adult videos are, according to Flash, an industry Japan can be proud to claim it leads the world.

Certainly, the cutthroat blue movie business churning out new titles by the dozen every day needs plenty of cutting edge ideas if one flick is to leap ahead of the pack.

Inspired by the recently completed Academy Awards, the men's weekly has come up with its Bakademy Awards, named for the Japanese-English contraction of baka, meaning stupid, and academy, presenting them to adult videos that have come up with the silliest ideas for stick flicks over the past year.

Winning the Best Picture Bakademy Award is "Nijuyon," the Japanese word for, and parody of "24," the hit TV series starring Keifer Sutherland. Unlike the U.S. drama, however, "Nijuyon" tells the tale of the trials and tribulations faced by an adult movie crew given a one-day deadline to come up with its own original flick. To keep the double-dozen theme, the movie stars 24 actresses who are filmed performing a variety of lascivious scenes over a 24-hour period.

The Acting award went to the dogs, with Goo, a miniature Chihuahua, taking off the top prize. Goo's flicks parody the hugely popular commercials with a Chihuahua star for a consumer finance company offering instant loans anywhere, any time.

Goo picked up its acting award for its on-call appearances as a "butter dog," the name given to pooches that lap up melted butter screen starlets pour over their erogenous zones, Flash says.

Goo's career follows in the footsteps of other legendary Japanese butter dogs such as:

RASSHIE, a play on the Japanese pronunciation of "Lassie" that can also be written using the characters for "nude" (and a perfect choice to star in a movie called "Rasshie Cum Home"); and,

RIN CHIN CHIN, modeled of course on Rin Tin Tin but written using characters that can also be read in a way that translates as "gonorrhea infected penis."

Picking up the Cinematography Prize in Flash's Bakademy Awards is "Kirei na Onesan no Waki (The Beauty's Armpits)," a movie the weekly says is only for the diehard aficionado as it the feature-length flick focuses entirely on women's shaven armpits as they appear in staple Japanese kinky outfits such as a schoolgirl uniform, maid's outfit, leotard and wedding dress.

Best Documentary in the Bakademy Awards was collected by "Demand no Tane," a hit for the always original Soft on Demand (SOD), Japan's biggest maker of adult movies. "Demand no Tane" was inspired by actress Mai Sakashita asking "Can I make a rainbow if I have a pee outside while it's sunny?" A SOD crew visited a challenging series of different locations to see if Sakashita could answer the question for herself, all the while trying to ensure that they did not infringe on Japan's ban on the public display of genitalia.

An honorary Bakademy Award went to S&M director Kazuo Matsushita, who Flash says developed the ultimate torture for the masochistic woman -- tickling. Matsushita started the tickling torture series 15 years ago and his raucous films involve naked women tied up to chairs and being tickled. His long-running "Onna Spy Kusuguri Gomon (Female Spy Tickling Torture)" series of flicks remains a favorite amongst fans and industry figures alike, Flash says.

Comment on this story, click here.

Copyright 1999-2004, AsianSexGazette.com.  All rights reserved.  No content may be reproduced in whole or part without written permission.  Please contact us via the link below for re-print and syndication policies.