masturbation

[Om1]

I hope this post doesn't disturb any of you.

Last night I was going to masturbate before i went to sleep and you know what happened? I fell asleep before anything happened. How sad is that. I woke up with my hand down my pants wondering what the hell happened. Nothing.
I am such a bore that I can't even score with myself.


Om1

[jamijams]

oh my god. lmfao. you never cease to amaze me. does this topic count as big brain? I'm kidding. you need a battery operated friend......but you may want to check that it isn't on your mother's shopping list of things for her little girl. oh damn Om, this was just the laugh (and shocker) I needed after my performance evaluation.

[csmooth24]

:eek:
:O
:eek:
:rolleyes:
:eek:
:cheer:
:eek:

[peacefulness]

wow. Ok

~Melanie

[Johnny Carwash]

that's never happened to me:beard:

[corduroykate]

horny shweta: hey sexy, lets do it!
tired shweta: not tonight, i'm tired
horny shweta: awwww come on baby, i'll do that thing you like!
tired shweta: i have a headache *turns over*
horny shweta: i'll wear my Josh Homme mask....
tired shweta: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


:O

[jamijams]

lol kate!!! :P

[csmooth24]

haha... :D

[RogueTrader]

Not as odd as it sounds, you know. I've reached for the joystick a couple of times, gotten started and then just lost interest half way through....started thinking of something else...

I think that this is when you know one of two possible things:

1. You are so un attractive that you can't maintain a boner for yourself.

2. masturbation has become a habit rather than a respose to a desire.

I have a sneaking suspicion that it might be combination of both....maybe you can try some herbal viagra...

::M

[Highway23]

I doubt that Shweta would have any problems with #1



I'm not a huge masterbator my self. Of course I'm in a good relationship that has lowered those needs dramatically :eek:

But...hmm

I don't know what to say, I laughed though :)

[MonkeyBrains]

I could barely keep my hands off myself last night.. I'm so freaking horny..

[RogueTrader]

What was that, Jess? Did you say you were coming to melbourne?...

::M

[csmooth24]

i thought she said seattle.... ;)

[MonkeyBrains]

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?
The other replies,"Oh sure I do."
The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"
The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver." After a few moments, the first old lady asks,
"Who drives you to the beach?"


I was actually thinking I'd stay where I am & wake up nice & early on Thurs morn when the boy arrives.. Otherwise I'd so be there!!

[St.KittsAP]

http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/waiwai/0303/0304masturbation.html

Masturbation diddling with married life

By Ryann Connell
Staff Writer

March 4, 2003


Masturbation has been blamed through the ages for such ailments as hairy palms and declining eyesight, but Shukan Jitsuwa (3/13) warns that self flagellation could be now be diddling with happy Japanese marriages.

Couples are apparently so intent on self-satisfaction that they're failing to take sufficient care of each other and marriages are becoming sexless in the once unthinkably short period of one to two years.

Where once men were inclined to consider masturbation and sex to be entirely separate activities, it seems they have blurred the two together and more guys are going it alone.

"Guys nowadays are used to things being virtual. They're aroused by images of a porn actress or pin-up girl, but not by real women. Many of them are incapable of insertion. They know better than anybody what makes them feels best and feel better getting themselves rather off than entrusting the task to a real woman," Dr. Dobun Hayashi of the Ochanomizu Hijiribashi Clinic tells Shukan Jitsuwa. "Masturbation allows the imagination to work in a way that gives the greatest pleasure. It's a common trait for both men and women."

Results of a survey by the men's weekly tend to support the doctor's claims. Female respondents openly admit to preferring their own touch to their partner's. They also admit to using a wide variety of aids from the electronic -- vibrators, shoulder massagers and electronic toothbrushes -- to textiles -- rolled up towels and blankets. Some even prefer the organic to an organ.

"When my husband's not at home during the day, I tried it with an eggplant and a carrot. Cover them with lotion and they pop right in," housewife Kyoko Shimada tells Shukan Jitsuwa. "It gave me an exquisite pleasure I'd never felt before."

With men caught up watching dirty movies and women hooked on raunchy comics, both men and woman are apparently immune to powerful stimuli, which soon means they get sick of each other and resort to masturbation to relieve sexual frustration, according to the weekly. It's a dangerous practice, especially if the practitioner gets caught.

"My husband works for a top company. He's serious, probably straight, and we hardly had sex. I masturbated to relieve my frustrations, but one day my husband came home from work earlier than I'd expected and caught me in the act," a 26-year-old housewife tells Shukan Jitsuwa. "He didn't say a word for a while. And we haven't had sex at all since then."

Growing numbers of working women also seem to have contributed to the prevalence for people to give themselves a helping hand.

"When both members of a couple work, they are basically leading independent lives. It's not like in the past when the man was the sole breadwinner. They just happen to share a home. If a couple doesn't have shared hobbies or lifestyle patterns, they can't become a real couple," physician Hayashi says. "Sex is the most primal form of sharing, but if masturbation has become a substitute for that, then there's no point in a couple being together."

Oriental medicine practitioner Kenkichi Okada goes so far as to blame women for the increase in those who brush their own Afro.

"The fault lies entirely with wives. Modern women are selfish and no longer have any inclination to bear things out or look after men. All they want from marriage is their own happiness. They haven't matured mentally. That's why they get so much pleasure out of Onanism," Okada tells Shukan Jitsuwa. "Sex means receiving hormones from a partner. With Onanism, there's none of that. There's a big difference. Sex involves pleasure, circulation through the nervous system, circulation of hormones and mental ease. Couples are created by following these processes. But, with masturbation, everything ends with the pleasure and circulation of the nervous system. Masturbation cannot give true satisfaction."

Other experts are not so sure.

"If sex is a full-course meal, then masturbation is like a snack," Wako University sexologist Kim Myung Gan tells Shukan Jitsuwa. "Of course, some couples may find a full course a bit too deep or a bit too painful at times and instead find it easier to go out for a snack. It's a better idea to decide on whether to have sex or masturbate depending on how you feel at the time. That way, couples can avoid problems that could otherwise ruin their relationship."

[RogueTrader]

Kittsy...that is one of the <b>less</b> freaky stories I could tell you about Japan.

Jess, your boy is a lucky one...

::M

[St.KittsAP]

oh don't worry, I've heard/seen crazier sex stuff from Japan.

Originally posted by RogueTrader
Kittsy...that is one of the <b>less</b> freaky stories I could tell you about Japan.

Jess, your boy is a lucky one...

::M

[low_light]

hmmm, well. i have been stirred early morning by a very hard hard on and i have to take care of business or itll literally stay there for over an hour. and i cant do anything about it. and can never sleep until its done hehe. so if im tired i will start to confuse myself with thoughts and get off topic. so its like starting all over again. the forearm starts to cramp. but ill be damned.. i finish what i start.. and i do.

if not for masturbation id be boring.

wait am i boring now? damn.

low

[MonkeyBrains]

Getting to know you.. getting to know all about you!!


It's nice we all share..

[reallygroovN]

lol

this is funny.

om, maybe you were just reallyreally tired....

and frinky, frankly, you just need to find the right spouse ;)

[MonkeyBrains]

I'm begining to think that tomorrow morning is WAY too far away to cope with.. That's when I get the real deal.. I think they battery operated friend may have to be pulled out tonight..

Shweta.. I dunno.. But cause you started this I know feel compelled to tell.. Hope everything goes better for you next time..

[Om1]

No big deal. it was a funny event I thought I would share.


Om1

[csmooth24]

hmmm......some thoughts on this tomorrow....... ;)

[Om1]

yes please share. ain't no shame.
in the immortal words of justin timberlake.. "I just love your.. brain*"


Om1


*refers to head, as in giving.

[MonkeyBrains]

Tomorrow IS Thursday & yes there's some good stuff to look forward to!! I'll tell you that NOW!!

I'm sharin!! I'm sharin!!

[csmooth24]

hehe......i'll share alright! ;)

[reallygroovN]

ill just sit back and read......

:eek: :confused:

[St.KittsAP]

yes, I'll just sit back and "read" as well.

Originally posted by reallygroovN
ill just sit back and read......

:eek: :confused:

[MonkeyBrains]

Party Poopers.. :P

[reallygroovN]

maybe we will be having our own parties ;)


oh, stop me now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am way too tired for this discussion:)

[St.KittsAP]

jeez. what a perv.

Originally posted by reallygroovN
maybe we will be having our own parties ;)


oh, stop me now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am way too tired for this discussion:)

[Highway23]

head....


is awesome


nothing better


giving and getting :)

[Big Brain]

Maturbation...

Not a big fan of shining the sceptre cuz I always feel that there will be a better moment to experience 'le petit mort'... I can't stress enough that a woman's touch is so very superior to anything I could ever do to myself, and even though I know me best, it's fun to figure it out with a partner.
Shitty thing is I'm single now, and there are no such perks in my world today... So playing the 5-knuckle shuffle is sometimes a necessary option... Simply put, it's not healthy to carry all that in a guy for such a long time... Gotta get it out! (Men's Health recommends releasing 2-3 times per week)

[TmasH]

hey, Ill be out on the east coast soon!

hahaha :P

[prism]

YAAY....I'm not the only boner this happens to :cheer: there's nothin' quite like the humilliation(sp?) of waking up with yer hand in yer pants and not even remembering if ya got there or fell asleep on the way:confused: and I don't even drink:cross: I too am just that exciting


I need to....GET LAID:)