I need your votes.
If you were to pick my artist name. And had no restriction. Don’t think of the practical or logical issues.
How many of you would be happier if I went by ‘Catherine St-Onge’ (hence, my real name)?
How many of you would be happier if I went by ‘HIMEKA’ (my artist name and name that I’ve been personally using since 12 years ago)?
How many of you would be happier if I went by ‘Catherine’ (just my first name)?
How many of you would be okay with me being ‘Catherine-HIMEKA’ (that sounds highly uncool, but it’s probably the only way that I can incorporate the ‘HIMEKA’ part in my name)?
Please be honest! I’d like to know what you think.
The truth is… I don’t have a choice though, but I’d still would like to see what some of my readers/listeners think.
I want to make something clear.
I don’t want to be some jpop idol. If some of you mistook my words for that, I’m sorry.
I’m very happy to be starting as an anime singer. I couldn’t be happier.
But I wish I could truly BE an anime singer. Not just a one-time or two-time thing.
I am okay with doing a little bit of different things, but I want to mainly be known in the anime world.
Because I am very attached to anime. Not just from Japan. When I was a kid, I was a Disney kid. And my dream was related to animation. I don’t want to start typing out my life at the moment, but if you knew my past, you’d understand that animation and me are glued together forever. I will never hate animation. I might not like everything, but I love the world of imagination that exists in animation. And I have my own dream of what I want to do as a singer. My own project. HIMEKA. Because HIMEKA isn’t just a name for me. And my image of what I want to become as an artist and the kind of music I’d like to do is all related to that name.
Unfortunately, I am in a very bad position right now….as a future singer. And the people involved don’t mind me starting with a few anime things, but wants to make me into something else, something I have no interest for, no passion for. And the other problem is… I can’t have a way out. It’s that or nothing. That person ran after me and pushed me to a corner and because of that, I can’t get a different opportunity. I am very upset. For so many reasons…..but I can’t write them here, I’m sorry it seems so unclear.
I am so scared that my dream ends here. I can’t let that happen. I want to make the best decisions I can to make sure my projects can take shape later on. But even now… I have doubts that I can survive long in the music world with what this person wants to try to make with me. Because I know too well that I’m not what they want me to be, so it won’t satisfy anyone. No one will like a half-assed artist who’s got no passion and looks completely fake (because I can’t act what I’m not….nor have passion in singing only songs that are definitely not my genre). There are more reasons why I know if things go the way this person wants, it will still fail…but I’ll stop at that.
The only decisions I can make are the ones of who I should trust, what I should keep hidden for my own good and my project things…stuff like that. Since once I accept to sign this…it can’t be undone. Things will definitely not be decided by me. Like… nothing at all.
I just want to say one thing to all of you. My dream is not to be some pop/jpop idol. It never was. Which was the main reason why I never showed my face on my videos when I used to post under himeka4. I want my voice to be appreciated as it is and make you feel something. That you don’t have to imagine the visual aspects of me as you listen to the voice. That you relate my voice to whatever fan interest you have in the anime/show I sing for. That my voice is just a voice that tells a story that you can feel. That’s what the real love of music is. I admit there are a lot of good looking artists out there, but for true music lovers, it’s the music itself that matters. If you care about the looks of an artist more than their music, it’s probably cause their songs aren’t good or they don’t sing well. Or they’re just idols. Which is the opposite of what I want to be.
But there is one thing I promise. It’s if I’m being forced by someone who is my superior into making dirty idol pictures or videos (being half naked, panty shots, looking sexy, etc), I will definitely quit and not do it. Even if I’m still under contract. And that they threaten to sue me for breaking the contract. I plan to have such conditions written on a contract though, but I don’t trust too easily…
There are some things that I will never be able to make concessions for.
I will not be that kind of figure, I’m sorry. I’m not an idol. I might not be someone with a great voice like Celine Dion, for example, but I still think I have enough of a voice not to have to become that sort of half-nude idol.
If I’m being forced into a picture album but it’s not dirty, hence, pictures of me pretending to be cute (yeah right) or petting a cute cat or whatever, I won’t be too happy, but I’d do it. If it’s clean, then that’s what matters the most.
I don’t want to dirty my face and name that way. I’m sorry if some of you might be offended if you are fans of some idols who did that kind of thing. I don’t mean to say that it’s right or wrong. I think it’s a choice. A choice of how much you’re willing to sacrifice to get to a certain goal. For me as a person and as an artist, it’s a no. It goes against my principles and I would probably think of ending my life after I did it, so I couldn’t.
I’m sorry if this post sounds completely out of the blue. I’ve actually had many frustrations for a while. This is one of the things I’ve been wanting to say.
Nobody has asked me to do such a thing at the moment though, but I’m bringing it up because it’s on my mind. Maybe when you don’t trust a person for what they’ve said and done since you met them, it’s easy to imagine that they could possibly try to make anything of that nature in order to try to get money out of you.
Because yeah, it’s all about money and status. Small artists are poor. Which I am. I’m actually thinking of moving into a tent in some months away if my situation gets too bad. Please don’t laugh, I’m very serious. I’ve started elaborating my life needs to see if things make sense. Haha.
Okay, don’t forget to post comments about your favorite artist name. Or suggestions if you’re bored.
-HIMEKA
8 comments
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October 27, 2008 at 7:05 am
saimaisama
>_<
I’m putting my vote in for HIMEKA actually.
I’m really actually happy you aren’t going for idol thing. I’ve always loved your voice since when you used to post on youtube with ‘himeka4′ … When I listened to your dub of ‘Forever’ … I was really amazed. I really hope everything goes well for you. I think you’ve come from far.
Good luck and don’t give up!
October 27, 2008 at 7:59 am
Kathleen
I think that if you don’t want to be labeled exclusively as an anime singer, you should go with Catherine St-Onge - or just Catherine. Jenya used to call herself Itsuki but she stopped after being signed by Love Solfege - it look more serious and mature. And more exotic.
However, whomever decides to sign you may think otherwise - a japanese (nick)name may have more appeal to a japanese audience, who knows… They may not even want to use -Himeka- for what we know and have something completely different in mind as a name for you…
Anyway, whatever the name you end up using, it will still be YOU
October 27, 2008 at 8:36 am
Takanori
Hi, Catherine.
I found your Youtube account and this blog over this weekend and don’t know much about you yet, but I thought you’re writing on an interesting subject here.
First of all, I don’t’ see any problem going with HIMEKA at all. Of course, You’re not going to be able to use alphabets on your name anyway, but your real name could be too long to remember for Japanese people, while just Catherine is too short and too common name to stand out as a singer. If it becomes HIMEKA, I guess you could use it with ether Kanji or Alphabets. Personally, I don’t feel right with Katakana (nor Hiragana, that’s just isn’t right).
Second of all, I’m glad that you made your points clear like that. I encourage foreign people work in Japan as professionals (as well as Japanese people to go out of the country), but I don’t want to see them unhappy with their situations. I understand you being defensive in there. But I don’t think you would lose your chance forever in Japan either way. Well, since I’m not an insider of the business or anything, I can’t write irresponsible things here, but looking at Leah Dizon and Jero and those Japanese major labels that’s going out to North America and some other parts of the world to look for some talents outside of Japan, I think the current is for you. I don’t know much about Anime world but I don’t see any competitor of you around. Do you? But trust me on this, but either you hate it or not, you’re not going to get away from being a Gaijin singer in Japan. My advice is, think what kind of singer you want to be, and think who in the business would you like to be like. Do you have any famous Anime singers? Look what kind of offices they belong. Those offices should have know-how to get you going from here. I’m sure you realized already, but unlike in North America, those talent offices do all the business in Japan. (not really sure about the Anime world, but I think it works the same way) You could open your own office in the future if you don’t mind any obstacles, but it’s too early. I think what you need is a bunch of information and advises from all directions.
I don’t know how much you understand Japanese but I’ll just attach this here for some idea.
http://detail.chiebukuro.yahoo.co.jp/qa/question_detail/q1019702710
Anyways, I hope you make a good decision that you can satisfy. Sounds like you have a right mind, so trust yourself.
Oh, and congratulations at the contest.
October 27, 2008 at 10:47 am
Nicole
It’s great that you are putting your values and ideas of what an artist truly is over ways to promote your music. I never really thought about it, but your ideas make a lot of sense. Too many people these days are putting half-assed singing and their looks together in order to promote their music, and it really is weird once you think about it.
Anyway, as for your name, I really think HIMEKA would be the best, since that’s what most people that knew your music before the contest know you by. Second pick would be just Catherine, I guess. Or you could combine both and have like HIMEKA in bigger letters then -Catherine St-Onge- below it in smaller letters. Kind of (I think) what Takanori said, I don’t think HIMEKA would look write in kana, for you at least. I don’t really think kanji would work either. Because people know you as HIMEKA, not ひめか, ヒメカ, or any kanji combinations.
Anyway, it’s sad to see that people with talent have their career future set out by somebody else. You should definitely have more say in your own future than some person working out your future so he can get the most money out of you as possible. Try to keep going, but, of course, it’s okay to stop if you’re extremely uncomfortable with something others are making you do.
October 27, 2008 at 11:58 am
Asuka
I like HIMEKA the best. However, another possibility you can consider is perhaps HIMECA, which combines HIMEKA and Catherine.
I really admire the strength in your decision to not become an idol. I know a Youtube semi-celeb (applemilk1988) who recently went to Japan to become a gravure idol, and the promo for her new DVD made me disgusted. I know it’s a tough industry to break into, but IMHO there is a limit to the types of things you should do to get close to your goal. This is why I admire the fact that you prioritize your integrity before “success” (however you want to define it). Do what’s right for you!
October 27, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Chii
To me, I believe that HIMEKA is best. The name HIMEKA has been with you for the longest time and I believe that it symbolizes all of your hard work and everything that you have gone through. Of course, your true name would work fine as well because Catherine is still Catherine no matter what her name is.
I truly admire your goal as a singer and how much you put your music and morals first. It’s sad to see so many unpassionate singers who just use their looks to make up for their not great music. It’s great that you don’t want to be that way and that you won’t let someone decide your path for you.
Please keep doing your best and do what you believe is best!
October 27, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Mireime
I vote for Catherine. Or Catherine-hime. ^_^ Catherine is a princess and even a queen name after all (Catherine of Russia. Catherine of Aragon, etc.). But you seem very attach to the HIMEKA and a lot of people already knows you by that name. Hard choice, but I still go for Catherine.
Well, I only heard your voice on youtube and learned that you won a contest giving you the opportunity to be the singer of an anime Opening/Ending/Theme song. So, congratulation, you really deserve it.
Stay true to your dreams and yourself. Faking won’t get you far. There are Japanese multi-artists having a lasting career. Maaya Sakamoto, for exemple, who do voice acting, anime song and regular artist album. I’m sure there’s a place like this for you in Japan. You’ll have to work hard, but you can do it.
And you don’t need to show your panties to get noticed. You face is different than any other japanese Idol. You have a wonderful voice. If they want to glamourize your style. Fine to me! Your a princess after all. But if they want to twist your dreams and personnality, run! Use them, don’t let them use you.
Good luck with your decision, there’s always opportunities for people who try their best. ^_^
October 27, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Sensei Rose
I always know you as ‘Himeka’, so I’m going with that one.