You've got to admire those hard-working Japanese salarymen. Year after year, they endure time-consuming, crowded commutes and long working hours for the sake of their family and company.
It only seems fair, then, that the worker bees of the business world should be encouraged with a reasonable reward every now and again. And one way to keep them bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, observes Jitsuwa Taiho (April), is to summon "Shape's," a "deri-heru" (delivery health, i.e. outcall sex service) based in the Kanda district -- right in the heart of central Tokyo -- that specializes in dispatching frisky young females to minister to males' libidos. Even, if they so desire, at their place of work.
We are not making this up, folks. The article includes both the web site and telephone number. The standard charge for Shape's "Shanai (in the office) Course" is 15,000 yen for a 50-minute session. Nevertheless if you tell the receptionist, "I read about you in Jitsuwa Taiho," they will graciously waive the 2,000 yen membership initiation fee.
Shape's also charges extra for the girl's transportation -- except for "deliveries" to offices in the nearby Kanda-Akihabara area. For other locations, a fee ranging from 1,000 to 3,000 yen is added, depending on the distance. However, like Domino's Pizza, the company promises a piping hot petunia will present herself within 30 minutes, or the transportation fee is waived.
One evening, after the other members of Jitsuwa Taiho's editorial staff had already departed for the day, our writer perused the dozen-plus profiles on Shape's Web site and settled on "Kaede," age 23, whose winsome smile and impressive measurements (90-57-83 cm) no doubt convinced him that she could get the job done. He was charged an additional 1,000 yen for "shimei-ryo," the right to make a special selection.
After a 20-minute wait, Kaede made her appearance at the reporter's office, flashing a fetching smile on the security monitor screen. He promptly buzzed her in.
She was, he drools, even better than he'd dared to expect, with twin headlamps pressing mightily against outer and inner garments barely able to restrain them.
Kaede wasted no time, pulling off the reporter's upper garments while helping herself to friendly fondles of his chest, buttocks and groin.
But then she glanced around the office at the stacks of pornographic books and magazines, and made a slightly anxious expression. Could this evening's client be one of those pervy weirdos, the type who wanted to act out the flaky fantasies featured therein?
"Aw shucks," the reporter explains. "Writing this stuff is my job. And one that I happen to enjoy a lot. Not to worry, okay?"
Her concerns thus allayed, Kaede plopped down in an office chair while our reporter let his tongue wander up and down the side of her shapely young neck.
By mutual agreement, the two began acting out a fantasy scenario, a classic case of office sexual harassment in which an overbearing boss forces himself on a defenseless female subordinate.
She raises her arms above her head, and he pulls off her sweater from behind. "Man, look at those luscious lollipops," he licks his lips lasciviously, sensually stroking her bulging breasts through her bra.
He then raises her skirt and lets his fingers meander between her thighs, contacting her cozy crotch and lingering lovingly over her labia. As he moves forward forcefully with his dauntless digit, soon the warmth is transformed to wetness.
"Oh, please, editor-san," she moans in feigned fright. "We shouldn't be doing this here..."
As she grasps the sides of his head, he energetically engages in a muff diving session, finishing off his tasty meal at the Y while she shivers and spasms in apparent ecstasy. To show her gratitude she reciprocates orally, tooting on his oboe allegro con brio until he squirts to a quivering crescendo.
Back at the Jitsuwa Taiho office the next morning, everything was hunky-dory. Seated at his desk, with the lingering sounds of her moans still reverberating in his memory, our reporter was able to enjoy the day's work all the more! (By Masuo Kamiyama, contributing writer)
(Mainichi Japan) April 12, 2008