Culture & Lifestyle

Jitsuwa Knuckles (April)

The working day for those in the publishing industry begins at 1:00 p.m. -- about four hours later than for the average salaried office worker. Even at this post-noon hour, reports Nishinakajima Juso -- a nom de plume created by amalgamating the names of two commuter rail stations in northeast Osaka -- many desks in the publisher's office were still vacant.

Probably, Juso assumed, they were still sleeping off their hangovers -- or sex-overs -- from the previous night's "work," as they prowled urban red-light districts in search of new information on the sex trade with which to titillate their readers.

Anticipating that such a job would put him in touch with finger-licking sleaze, if not some glamour and excitement, Juso, aged 22 and just out of university, tells Jitsuwa Knuckles (April) he succeeded in finding employment with one such publisher, whose magazines and tabloid sheets provide data on shops' slates of sexual services, prices, phone numbers and other useful information so that the readers who patronize such shops, either directly or vicariously, wind up wanking while reading about the wild whoopee being made therein.

On his first day of work, a senior staff member took Juso aside and sternly counseled him, "Whatever else you do at this job, watch out for money and women."

Such advice was eminently sensible. Manual labor in Japan has long been described in terms of "three K's" -- "kitanai, kitsui, kiken" (dirty, difficult and dangerous). And as young Juso was to discover to his chagrin, working for a pink publication involves not three, but four K's: "kitsui" (difficult), "kitanai" (dirty), "kaerarenai" (you can't leave the office) and one more, which was "kijin koibito daishugo" (constantly beset upon by weirdo women who pretend to love you but are only faking it).

As for the incident that caused the trouble ...

"Five days after I was hired, I was assigned to do a story covering the services available in a certain sex shop," Juso relates. "And as is usually the case, I felt it was, um, essential to experience hands-on what sort of things paying customers would enjoy."

While many shops post signs on the wall warning customers that anyone found engaging in 'honban' (sexual intercourse) with a female employee would be subject to a 1 million yen fine, it seems this particular place is notorious for strictly enforcing the policy.

And Juso was just dumb enough to get caught romping in flagrante delicto.

After discovering his indiscretion, the infuriated shop management summoned a representative from Juso's employer. The supervisor had changed out of his usual T-shirt into a business suit and tie, and made his appearance with a box full of Japanese cakes, offered as a gesture of apology.

Arriving at the reception desk around 10:00 that evening, he was immediately set upon by a half-dozen scowling gentlemen, employees of the parent company, who sported colorfully loud suits, sunglasses, punch-permed hair and missing pinkies.

Jitsuwa Knuckles describes their appearance with the wonderfully creative term "yaku-zotic."

"He was forced to bow to them in a kneeling position and touch his head to the floor, while they cursed. They hauled him up on his feet and whacked him around, and cursed him some more. Then he knelt and cringed some more. This went on until 8:00 the following morning," Juso relates.

The supervisor's face following this ordeal was described as resembling a pomegranate, a large, lumpy red fruit.

As soon as he could get to a pay telephone, the man called the chief editor and resigned on the spot.

But that was not the end of it. As an additional apology for Juso's indiscretion, the magazine was forced to run a series of glossy color articles promoting the sex shop's chain, plus free advertisements in every issue for the next 18 months.

"I thought I was going to have fun on the job, but wound up being a patsy for those hoods," Juso moans, full of remorse. (By Masuo Kamiyama, contributing writer)